


Destiny is a Trail of Stars

by absolutelyamethyst



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Gen, Imprinting (Twilight), OC-centric, Pack Politics, Pack-centric, Platonic Relationships, romance as a subplot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23662993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutelyamethyst/pseuds/absolutelyamethyst
Summary: Families are funny things--sometimes you’re born with one, other times you have to find it yourself.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Original Female Character(s), Sam Uley/Emily Young
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	1. Bonfire

_Seventeen today._

What a terrible age. Nearly (but not quite) an adult, still technically a kid. Except...I’ve been living on my own for a year now, which counts as a pretty adult move in my book. 

_Seventeen today._ My birthday. That means tonight there’ll be a party whether I like it or not, which means my opinion will be _completely_ ignored and the whole thing will last the entire night, consisting of a massive bonfire, lots of food, and soccer. 

Parties are an excuse for the boys to show off. No one can convince me otherwise. 

It’s late- I should really get up, but I don’t _want_ to. Getting up means acknowledging that I have shit to do today, and I _really_ don’t want to do that. _God._ If only I could go back to bed. 

The blankets are still warm around my shoulders as I roll towards the window, a fluff-swaddled hand lifting to tug the thin curtains back so that the sun is visible. Light streams in, and even though it’s bright enough to make me wince it’s worth it, because _nothing_ quite compares to the way the pines outside my house look with golden sunlight filtering through their scrawny branches. 

La Push might be small. It might be filled with loud boys and old neighbors that want to hover and check on me at all hours of the night, but _damn_ is it beautiful. It’s home. 

_Knock, knock._

“Dammit,” I curse, glancing furiously at my bedroom door. There’s only a few people who’d bother coming to my house at--I glance at the clock again--11am. Only one person really cares about my birthday enough to actually stop at my house in order to do anything about it. 

“Seth Clearwater, I’m going to murder you,” I mumble as I sit up, yawning. I nearly trip as I stumble out of bed, my sheets wrapping around my legs in a last-ditch effort to keep me in their warm embrace. 

Seth knocks again. I don’t speed up. My feet pad slowly over the thick carpet as I walk into the hall, flicking on the hallway and living room lights as I make my way towards the door. 

“You idiot,” I snap as I open it. “What are you-”

“Happy birthday!” He practically screams in response. “I brought you food.” 

“You- wait, _what?_ ” My jaw drops. My irritation vanishes. “Food? As in, _breakfast?_ Seth, you _cooked?_ ”

“Of course not!” His grin is the huge, happy sort that fills up his whole face and makes his eyes crinkle. “My mom’s cookin- fresh off the stove! Eggs and sausage, just the way you like ‘em!”

My throat is thick, tight enough that I can’t respond. Seth doesn’t say anything easier, just keeps smiling as I take the covered tray he offers me. He follows me into the kitchen, sits when I sit. 

“So, you just woke up?”

“Yup.” 

“Was it the sun again?” 

“...yeah, it’s really bright by that window.” 

Seth smirks. “You could just move, you know.” 

There are those friends sometimes- the ones you banter with back and forth, the ones you have inside jokes with that _sort of bug you_ inwardly (even though you’d never admit that) and you keep them around anyway. Seth is like that. He’s so bright and happy all the time and he just… stuck around after I moved out of the Clearwater’s place. And I’m grateful. 

“I like my room.” I take the lid off the tray, inhale the salty-scented steam coming off the eggs and sausage. “It’s small, and cozy, and…” _Mine,_ I mentally add. It’s an important feature of a space that a lot of people overlook, but I don’t. Years of barging into other people’s spaces will do that to you. 

Seth nods. “Another year and you’re still stubborn.” 

I jut my plastic fork in his direction. “And _you’re_ still annoying.” 

Seth wasn’t kidding when he said his mom had cooked everything the way I like it- the eggs are cooked over-medium. One poke and golden yoke oozes from the center, drizzling over the perfect eggwhite and down beneath the sausage rounds I piled together on the other side of the plate. It’s heaven. 

“I miss Sue’s cooking,” I mutter, avoiding Seth’s gaze. 

Seth doesn’t say anything for a second. I don’t blame him- my leaving the Clearwater’s house wasn’t a pleasant affair. There was a lot of yelling, mostly between me and Sue. 

“She misses you,” Seth says, “I think Leah misses sharing a room, but you know how she is.” 

I snort. “She doesn’t miss me.” Leah and I had spent almost every second of our time together fighting. She’s...grizzly at best. “And you still have to live with her,” I grin at Seth, flicking a leftover dinner crumb in his direction. 

“Any plans for today?” Seth asks with a small smirk. 

I glare at him. “You know the answer to that question.”

“You don’t have to look so mad about it!” He protests, leaning back in his chair. “It’s gonna be fun!”

“For who?” 

“For _you!_ There’s gonna be fire, and soccer, and food…”

“The same stuff they always have at these things.”

Seth pouts. “You never play soccer with us anymore.” 

“Uh- there’s this thing called _puberty,_ Seth. Any of you guys could run me into the freakin’ _ground._ ”

“But I’m-”

“You’re not the one I’m worried about, duh.” I wink at him. “Don’t worry, kiddo. I’m sure you’ll get all big and strong soon enough. But right now…”

“Hey!” His glare isn’t frightening at all, amusingly so. “I’m not _that_ much younger than you!”

“Still a kid in my book, sorry-”

“You’re impossible.” 

I take a bite of sausage. It’s still hot, and the texture is perfect. “Your mom’s a really good cook, Seth.” 

“Is that why you miss living with us? The food?” He retorts, his smirk returning. “Hurry and finish up, I’m supposed to keep you from staying inside all day.”

“Wh- huh? Seriously?” 

“Seriously. You’ve got a bad habit of ignoring your birthday.” 

“I do not.” 

“Amiyah, you lived with us for _two years_ and didn’t tell when your birthday was _once_! We didn’t find out until a week ago!” 

I roll my eyes. He’s hopeless--he _enjoys_ being around people--but he’s a force to be reckoned with and so is his _entire family_. “I don’t like being the center of attention.”

He makes a face. “Whatever. You’re coming tonight and you’re gonna like it.”

I sigh. “You want the rest of this?”

“You serious?” His whole expression brightens. 

“You’re psycho.” I shove the plate in his direction. “Didn’t you just eat?” 

“Mom says Leah’s not allowed to tease me about eating all the time-”

“I’m not Leah.”

“-so I think that applies to you too.”

“I’m not your sister, Seth.” 

“Yeah, but you might as well be, right?”

 _Aw, shit, that’s actually really sweet._ “Thanks, Seth.” 

His mouth is full of sausage. He just nods, but he tries to smile anyway and we both end up laughing. That’s Seth for you- he takes a rotten, no good morning and makes it good. He’s just that happy- it’s infectious. 

_Maybe today won’t be so shitty after all._

_~_

_I was wrong._

Bonfires are a lot of fun in theory. Who doesn’t love a big-ass fire? S’mores? 

Except it’s more than that. It’s half the younger boys in the tribe making fools of themselves on the sand while the rest of us huddle by the fire and try not to freeze to death. 

But then there’s me. And I’m a loner, the sort of person that doesn’t really fit in anywhere. Everyone else has a family, and I’m just...me. By myself. I don’t have anyone. Well- that’s wrong. I have Seth, but he’s playing, and Leah’s...not here, and Sue and Harry are being Sue and Harry--that is, Sue’s cooking and Harry’s off talking. 

I’m sitting by myself closest to the fire. There’s smoke blowing in my eyes, and the sparks that are flaring off the fire are getting closer and closer to landing on my sleeve. 

Maybe if I caught on fire it would pull Seth away from that stupid soccer game. 

_Casually setting yourself on fire is a bad idea. Then again, if I sit here any longer, I might actually become one with this log…_

I stand up. Stretch. Groan, because even though I’m wearing a jacket on over my shirt, the cold’s settled into every inch of my body. Standing hurts. Shuffling over the log and around the swathe of people standing behind me hurts. Yep- I’ve definitely been sitting down for too long. 

_Where’s Seth?_ It’s dark enough out that the boys on the field are a blend of bodies, shuffling together in a single-toned blur. They’re loud, but even their voices come together as one. Telling them apart is absolutely impossible. 

_Hm...all I gotta do is look out for the shortest kid on the field, why is it so-_

“Hey! Watch out!”

“Amiyah!”

I’m on the ground. 

The sand is cold beneath me, my ears are ringing-- _why’s the world spinning--_ the sand is cold beneath me and _damn, my head hurts._ My jaw feels like it’s on fire. People are yelling. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s about to explode out of my chest.

“Amiyah.”

I can’t answer. Everything is hot. I’m hot. My skin prickles. The sand is coarse and cold beneath my fingers as I pick up my hands, drag them across my face to pull back the strands of hair that are caught in my lashes, poke at my eyes. 

“Amiyah, say somethin. You okay?”

Seth. _Ears, stop ringing._ I recognize that voice. I blink, but the world’s still blurry and my heart is still beating so fast that I can feel it in my throat. _Who the hell kicked that?_ It feels like I was ran over by a freaking truck.”

“Ow,” I mutter as my tongue finally unsticks from the top of my mouth and my throat stops constricting. My cheeks flame immediately as my vision clears and I realize everyone, _literally everyone,_ is standing in a circle around me. I got my wish- the game stopped, but _damn,_ my head. 

“Everyone, step back. Give her room.” 

The crowd shifts. Sam Uley has that effect on people, for some reason, and even though I don’t like the attention, it’s nice to know someone’s looking out for me. 

“I’m fine, Sam.” I manage to stand up, and the world only spins once. “Promise,” I add when he gives me a disbelieving look. “Seth, you can let go of me now.”

“You almost fell over just now,” Seth snorts. “You need to sit down.” 

“I’m fine!”

“Paul kicked that ball really hard, Amiyah.” Seth still doesn’t let go. He tugs me sideways, back towards the fire. The crowd parts again, people dispersing. “C’mon-”

“Sorry,” Paul mumbles at a nudge from Sam. I curl my lip. It’s obvious he isn’t. 

“Amiyah.” 

“Seth, I said I was _fine,”_ I snarl, jerking away from him so hard he stumbles forward. “Just leave me alone.” 

“But-” his expression falters, his eyes widening into the dumb puppy-dog look that makes Leah so mad. 

I’m a jerk and I know it, but _something is wrong with me_ and I turn away instead of apologizing, hug my hands to my chest and shuffle away from the bonfire, breathe in deep the whole way to the other end of the shore. 

The tide is high and the water is ice cold, but I barely feel it. Screw this party and screw my birthday. I just want to sleep. 

I look back towards the field. The bonfire is still going strong. There’s less hollering now, and nobody followed me out here, which is good. _I need to sulk in peace._

I manage to slip away without anyone noticing. Halfway to my house, I turn and stare at the direction of the beach. The bonfire’s smoke is a thick plume of gray against the sky. It’s edged in scarlet, almost hides all the stars. 

I...feel bad for leaving. I’ll head to the Clearwater’s house tomorrow, thank Sue like I should have earlier. I’m…

I’m tired. And even though guilt tangles in my chest as I start the washer, shut the laundry room door to keep out the god-awful noise, I yawn all the way to my room. 

_I should apologize to Seth tomorrow too…_ I climb into bed. Shut off the lamp. _If the spot where that freakin’ ball hit me is bruised tomorrow, I’m gonna kill Paul. I’m gonna…_

~

_“Don’t you think it’s weird though? She took that hit full force, then just...got up. And walked off.”_

_“She was on the ground for a solid minute, Embry. She wasn’t fine.”_

_“Dude, you know how fast that ball was flying. Amiyah should have been on the ground a lot longer-”_

_“That’s enough.”_ Sam’s voice reverberates through the pack, silencing Embry and Jared instantly. _“So long as Amiyah doesn’t have the fever, tossing theories around doesn’t do anything. Stay focused.”_

_“Sorry,” came Embry’s quiet apology._

_Jared didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to- they could all feel it._

_Being a wolf was amazing. It was unlike anything any of them had ever experienced. But it also sucked sometimes, majorly, and that...that was something they wouldn’t wish on anyone._

_Especially not Amiyah._


	2. Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amiyah's long day at work turns into something more.

_ Forks Grocers-- _ a little building that’s been here forever. White stucco walls that are cracking around the whole building. The roof leaks. It’s  _ small.  _ The store-room is small too, but the office and storage rooms in the back are  _ tiny,  _ cramped things with crappy shelves that fall over when you brush against them. I hate it here. 

I’ve worked here since I was fifteen. 

Adelaide Sinclair owns the place. She’s older, with graying hair and kind eyes, but she’s sharp-witted and genuine. 

Her daughter  _ acts  _ like she’s the manager. Unfortunately for me, it’s Sarah I get stuck working with the most. 

“Are you done yet?” She calls from up front. I glare at her from safely behind the walls of the inventory room, one hand holding my clipboard and the other lifted with my middle finger in the air. There’s no cameras back here- she’ll never know. 

“Nope!” I call back, voice lifting. Sarah’s a brat, but she’s a tattletale too, and if she tells her mom that I was grumpy to her at  _ all,  _ boom- there goes my job. “Be done in a second.”

“Good!” her voice is a clear soprano, every bit as annoying as the bell that rings every time-

_ Ding, ding.  _

“Welcome in!” Sarah exclaims. Papers rustle together as she straightens up, and I hear her stool squeak, her boots hit the floor as she maneuvers to go help whoever just walked in. “Our specials today are-”

I slam the inventory door shut. 

“Ami _ yahh _ ,” I hear Sarah groan. “Sorry about her, she’s...a bit temperamental.” 

_ You’re just annoying.  _

Seriously, though- this inventory job is taking  _ forever.  _ We got new stuff the night of the bonfire. I missed my shift that night, which means now I get double-duty, lucky me. 

“Do you have anything...bigger?” 

“Feeding more than one?” Sarah giggles. 

“You know how guys are.” The customer retorts with a huff. “He’s fixing up these bikes for me, the least I can do is feed him.” 

“Oh? You don’t look like a biker girl.” Sarah says. 

_ What the heck is her problem today? Can’t she let the girl shop?  _ This is what happens when I’m not out front- Sarah chats everyone up and annoys the crap out of everyone involved.

“Sarah, you’re supposed to  _ help  _ the customers, not bother them the whole time they’re here.” I open the door, lean against the wall. “Wait, where-”

“Did you say something, Miyah?” Sarah’s head peeks out from the top of one of the smaller aisles, her eyebrows knit together. “I thought you were doing inventory.” 

“‘M almost done.” I frown.  _ I could’ve sworn they were standing right here.  _ “Thought I might need to save this poor girl from your talking.” 

“Nope,” the girl gives me a sideways smile. “Still alive.” 

“Good.” I turn, one foot in the stock room. 

“Do I know you?” The girl asks. “You’re...from La Push, right? Do you...know Jacob Black?”

“Pretty boy?” I snort, cross my arms. “Everyone knows Jacob. He’s...cool.”  _ Pretty,  _ I want to say, but judging from the look on the other girl’s face, she already knows that. 

“He’s helping me fix these bikes I bought.” the girl holds up the basket in her hand. “I’m bringing gifts.”

I nod, smirk. “Bribery! I’m sure he’ll  _ love  _ that.” 

“I’m Bella.” The girl says, offering her hand. 

“Amiyah.” I shake it. “Come say hi sometime, I’ll be around.”

“But right  _ now  _ she has inventory to do, isn’t that right, Mi?” Sarah’s expression shifts as she looks from Bella to me, her light eyes narrowing as she twists her hands through her golden curls. 

I glare back at her. “Yeah, whatever. Back to the dungeon I go-” I shrug, grab my clipboard from the edge of the register counter, and shut the door. 

“She seems nice,” Bella says. “Working here seems cool.”

Sarah snorts. “It’s too slow,” she says. “Mi is boring. Plus, my mom owns this place, she-”

“Thanks for your help,” Bella says, cutting her off. The register dings, the printer clicks and paper tears in two. 

The place falls silent again after the door closes. 

I glare at the stacks of canned goods and boxes, resigned to my fate. 

“Cya, Sarah.” 

“Whatever.” 

_ Cool, good talk. Great shift, Sarah, so glad I just spent the last eight hours with you. _

My car is a rusty old thing, a white truck Harry pulled out of some junkyard somewhere a few years back, after I turned fifteen. It’s nice, when it runs. There are a few car-savvy guys around the reservation. Sometimes, I just walk.

_ Jeez, it’s late.  _ I gotta get home. Apologize to Sue if she’s still up. 

“Kinda late for you to be out, isn’t it?”

“ _ Seth? _ ” I turn around, freeze as I scramble to find him. “Why are you- what are you doing here?” 

“I…” Seth’s shadow moves around the front of the car, the overhead streetlight illuminating his face as he leans against the fender. “I got in a little bit of trouble.”

_ Ah, shit.  _ “You’re bleeding, Seth,” I breathe, tossing my bag to the ground. “What the hell happened? Where’s your mom? Where’s Leah?”

“I came with some friends,” Seth says, holding one hand behind his head. “We were messing around, and they-”

“Don’t lie to me, Seth.” I snap. “Someone did this to you.” 

His nose is bleeding. There’s bits of dirt and gravel all over him, and his shirt is...gone, exposing the cuts and scrapes all over his hands and shoulders. 

“I’m fine, Amiyah.” 

“No, you’re not!” I snort, pulling Seth forward so I can look at his back. “You’re beat up.  _ Someone did this.  _ Who?”

“I told some guys I’d do their homework for them then forgot.” Seth blurts out. “We drove out here to hang out, they beat me up in an alley, and I walked here to see if you’d give me a ride.”

“Some friends.”

He snorts. “I know.” 

_ Shit. Okay, think rationally.  _ I need to get him home. Sue’s gonna  _ freak.  _ The sooner I get him back to the Clearwater’s place, the better. 

“Are you okay, Amiyah?” Seth asks. “You seem kinda...off.” 

I  _ feel  _ off. Everything’s hot. My palms are sticky. I shut my eyes, but all I can see is Seth laying on the ground somewhere, alone, all beat up by  _ some assholes-  _ “I’m fine.” 

He stares at me, silent. 

“I’m fine, Seth, I promise.” I shift, lean against the truck and stare at the stars. “We should get going,” I say, “your mom’s going to be  _ pissed. _ ” 

Seth groans. “God, don’t remind me.”

My hands are shaking the whole way home. Driving, in the darkness, I fight my temper the whole ride. What was Seth  _ thinking?  _

_ Deep breaths.  _ It’s not my place. Seth might be the closest thing I’ve ever had to a little brother, but it’s  _ not my place.  _

“We’re here.” I poke Seth as we pull into their driveway. 

“Huh?” He stares at me, bleary-eyed, grimaces as I open the door. “What-”

“You fell asleep.” 

“...oh.” 

“C’mon.” I glare at the front door. “Your mom’s gonna love this…”

“Seth Clearwater,  _ where have you been?!” _

_ My ears.  _

The yelling. Every word’s pounding into my skull, all of it drumming through my head. It  _ hurts.  _ I’m only here because they asked me not to leave, but with every second that goes by, I just want to leave even more. 

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” Harry says. I glance up, suddenly keenly aware of his eyes on me, and stare back down at the floor. “Seth, go get cleaned up.” 

Seth obeys, silent. 

“Amiyah, I can’t thank you enough for bringing him home.” Sue says. Her voice is shaky- her face is tearstained, and her eyes are bloodshot. “The woods are so dangerous at night-” she cuts off, sighs into her hands. 

“Thank you, Amiyah.” Harry nods. “Are you alright?”

_ No.  _ “Yeah, I’m…” I stop. Swallow. Stand up. 

“Amiyah? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I mutter, but I swear I’m going insane, because  _ it sounds like something is howling outside  _ and I’ve never heard a wolf around here, ever. “I could’ve sworn…”

“You don’t look too good, love,” Sue whispers, standing up. “You didn’t go to work sick again, did you?” 

“Wha?” I blink. My stomach does a weird twisting thing in my gut, and my heartbeat quickens. “Sue-” she’s got her hand on my forehead before I can say anything else, pushes me back onto the couch. 

“Stay still,” she says when I try to stand back up. “I’m going to get the thermometer.”

I bite my lip. “I can take care of myself.” 

“You take care of yourself far too often,” she snaps back, “and rarely never enough.” 

Harry whistles. He ducks out of the room without another word, and I find myself laughing. If I could get up, I’d follow him- he and I always did get along well- but I’m glued to the couch, literally. Everything’s heavy. I can barely keep my eyes open. 

_ The hell’s wrong with me?  _

I shut my eyes. Not really--they fall shut, they feel like sandbags, and the moment I do everything  _ shifts.  _ I can hear Sue and Harry in the next room, hear Seth moving around down the hall. And all the sounds are warmer, richer, detailed. They’re too intense. 

A slow, soft ache begins to build in the back of my head. 

_ It’s too much.  _

“Harry,” I whisper--try to, my throat closes up and the word comes out hoarse, bitter, raspy. I open my eyes again. Everything is too bright. “Harry-” nothing. “Sue-”

“We have to take her home,” Harry whispers, “even if she has the fever-”

“Look at her, Harry, she’s nearly fallen asleep sitting up.”

“We should call Sam to check it out.”

“Is that...even possible? For her?” 

Harry snorts. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

I’m done. Done trying to stay awake. I can’t remember the last time I felt this bad so quickly, but even the  _ idea  _ of standing up and walking down the street to my house is enough to send me slumping over, eyes shut, goosebumps rippling up my arms as I relax into the cushions. 

_ I feel like shit.  _

~

Amiyah doesn’t move as Sam carries her back to her house. Harry follows them silently. 

“She can’t stay here by herself,” he says when they reach Amiyah’s house. “She has no one.”

“Staying at your house wasn’t an option,” Sam says, maneuvering slowly past Harry as the older man unlocks the front door. Then he frowns. “Does she...always leave her door unlocked?”

“She’s always been forgetful,” Harry smiles. “Don’t tell Sue she forgot again.” 

Amiyah’s house is quiet. The lights are off. It’s clean, for the most part, but the kitchen smells and Sam can smell old food in the sink. He sets Amiyah down on the couch, watches Harry feel her forehead again. The signs are all there, Sam knows. The fever. The tiredness. Her muscles are taut as she settles into the couch, a wince breaking across her face as she takes a deep breath.

And then she goes still.

“Well? What do you think?” Harry asks, no longer whispering. 

And that’s the question, isn’t it? They keep expecting him to know things, and maybe he does. But this is unprecedented.  _ He doesn’t know.  _

“I’ll keep watch,” He says, “tell some of the boys to stop by after they’re done patrolling. If she gets worse, we’ll know about it. 

Harry’s lips are pressed tightly together as he nods, visibly unhappy.  _ Concerned for her,  _ Sam knows. It’s valid. The first few days are always the worst. 

They should go, give Amiyah time to rest. Harry doesn’t move, though. Sam’s not the best at reassuring people--he knows, Emily tells him all the time--but… “There’s nothing else you can do, Harry.”  _ Leave it to me now.  _

Harry nods. Swallows. “She’s like a daughter to me,” he whispers. 

“She’ll be okay.” He’ll make sure of it. He will, because if he can’t, he’s nothing, a good alpha least of all. “She’ll make it through.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever, like, get really excited about what's coming then realize you still have to write the in-between and everything you write just...sucks?  
> Yeah, me too.


	3. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inevitable happens, and Amiyah meets her new brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For clarity's sake, regular thoughts will be in regular italics. the packs' dialogue will be in italics as well, but their speaking will have quotation marks to signify that it's actual speech. It'll be intermingled with thoughts as well, so make sure you're paying attention.

“Don’t underestimate her,” Harry warns before handing Sam the spare key to Amiyah’s house. “That girl’s one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. Feisty too.” He gives Sam a knowing look. “But dealing with that’s your specialty by now, isn’t it?”

~

“You have a fever, Amiyah.” Harry’s voice. Over the phone, it sounds stricter than I know him to be, wrought with a hard edge that’s cold and rasping. “I know you’ll say no, but I’d really feel better if you let someone stay over with you- Sue, maybe-”

“I can take care of myself, Harry.” I try to keep my voice level, I really do, but the phone is shaking in my hand, slick sweat forming over my palm as I glare at the wall in front of me. On the other end of the line, Harry sighs. 

“I don’t like this, Amiyah,” he says. “I really don’t. And neither does Sue.” 

“It’s a fever, not the end of the world, Harry.” I snort. “I’ll be fine. I’ll head to work then rest when I get home, I promise.”

“What? No, Amiyah-” 

I hang up the phone, set it in my lap with a shaky sigh. One whole year- I’ve kept myself alive for one whole year after living with the Clearwaters, and they still don’t trust me. 

_I’m seventeen now, Sue._ I can picture her face, those tired eyes glaring at me, not hearing a thing I’m saying. _I can take care of myself._

It was a lie, really. All of it. I’m barely here, barely surviving. The house is empty--the kitchen goes barely used. There’s no food in the pantry. I eat while I’m out--just enough for a meal--and bring whatever I don’t eat home. 

Seth knows. He found out a few months ago. I made him promise not to tell his parents. He swore not to--sometimes I think he’d do anything for me, but then I remember that he’s a Clearwater too, and I know better than anyone that their stubborness draws lines eventually.

If anyone ever found out...I don’t know what I’d do. 

I’ve been bounced around from home to home my whole life, but this one’s _mine,_ and I’m never, _ever_ letting it go.

It takes an hour to get ready for work. 

I’ve been sick before. I’ve had _fevers_ before. I went to work with bronchitis once. I was sixteen, and I’d been so sick that Adelaide had taken one look at me and sent me home. I’d refused. She’d responded by calling Harry, and _he’d_ taken me home, yelling at me the whole way. That’s...probably the source of the mistrust between Harry, Sue and me. I’m stubborn, laughably so, but I’ve always been one to believe that there are things worth fighting for, and the power to live on my own will always be one of them. 

That being said...this sucks. 

I stare at myself in the mirror. I’m a sweaty mess, burning even with the white tank top I’d thrown on. My arms and neck are shiny, and my face is a disaster- eyes sunken in, bloodshot and glassy as I shake away the anxiety buzzing in the pit of my stomach. _I’m fine._ I’ve been sick before, I’ll get over this just like I’ve gotten over everything else.

It’s not until I walk back out into the living room that I realize something is wrong. 

I’m...a conservative person. The moment I’m done watching TV, I turn it off. The moment I’m done in a room, I turn off all the lights. I don’t keep the water running. Sometimes my house doesn’t quite feel lived in, even after a year. It...smells like me. Feels like me. It’s mine. 

Something’s wrong. 

The kitchen light is on. _I haven’t been in there._

Something’s wrong and instead of calling Harry--the right thing to do, the one thing he’s always lectured me to do since moving in--I walk into the kitchen, look around, breathe in deep. It’s a smell I don’t recognize, a woodsy scent, something-

 _What’s wrong with me?_ I jolt, lean against the wall, take a deep breath. I’ve gotta be going insane. People don’t have individual scents--not ones that _normal_ people can smell, anyway. _Maybe I’m hallucinating. Can you hallucinate smells? Is...that a thing?_

_Thump._

_Well_ that _was definitely real._

I whirl around, mind going blank as my gaze settles on the source of the noise. Sam Uley. _In my house._

“I’m here to check on you,” he says slowly, holding up his hands. “Sue and Harry-”

I growl. 

Sam stops. 

“I was just on the phone with Harry,” I mumble, “I told him I was fine. Today’s my last shift of the week, then I’ll be able to rest.” 

“You’re going to work?” He raises an eyebrow. “You look terrible.” 

“Gee, thank you, Sam, that’s so sweet,” I snort, gingerly shouldering past him. “I’m not even going to ask how you got in-”

Wordlessly, he dangles a spare key up where I can see it. 

I stop, shoe scuffing against the carpet, and steady myself as my irritation builds into full-blown fury. I can sense it coming--a temper tantrum, the loud, frenzied kind. The one that makes no sense but feels good until it’s over, and you’re left with the damage, the apologies you have to say but don’t really mean. 

“They gave you the freaking _key?_ What is their _problem?_ ”

Sam’s…silent for a moment. I can almost hear him thinking. He’s probably trying to figure out how to console me, poor guy. Forcing yourself to feel emotions must be so hard. 

“You shouldn’t be going to work, Amiyah.” Sam says, his tone cold, warning. “You need to lie down.” 

“I feel fine!” 

“You’re sweating through your shirt.” 

“Screw off,” I snap, taking another step forward. “You’re not my babysitter, Sam.” 

“I will be if I have to.” 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It _means_ that if I think you’re endangering yourself or anyone else, I’m going to do whatever I can to stop you.” 

_Is he insane?_ “I’m going to work, not trying to run a marathon,” I snort. “You’re taking this a little too far.” 

With a huff, he steps in front of the door. 

“ _Seriously?”_ I try to slip past him to no avail. Sam’s taller and bigger than me, a wall of muscle in front of the way out. But...it’s not the only way. “You’re- _ugh._ ”

Anxiety spurs me forward. I half sprint, half pant towards the back door, my fever laboring my breathing. Sweat drips down my forehead and into my eye. I grab the doorknob-

“Don’t even think about it.”

-and stop as Sam touches my shoulder. 

I freeze. 

I feel it. The way my whole body stiffens beneath his touch, the way my vision blurs, the way my heart rate quickens and my blood starts to roar in my ears. The instant his hand touches me, every sense is heightened. My expression, mirrored in the glassy panes of the back door, shifts into the furious face of someone I don’t recognize--a stranger. 

“Let me go, Sam.” I growl, not recognizing the voice that comes out. 

“I can’t do that.” 

_“Let. Me. Go.”_

Slowly, Sam’s grip on my shoulder eases. I slip out of his reach, open the door, and...stop, turning to stare at him when I realize he’s not following me. I expected him to. This… seems like the kind of moment that deserves an epic chase, but maybe that’s just my adrenaline talking. 

He’s not even looking at me. Instead, he’s staring at my pantry. 

“It’s empty.” 

“First you break into my house, then you start looking through my pantry?” 

He gives me a look. “I had a key.” 

“I don’t care!” I check my phone again, groan when I see the time. “I don’t have time for this. I was supposed to be at work half an hour ago-” my phone buzzes, another text, then starts to vibrate, another missed call. “I have to go.” 

“Is this your big secret, then?” Sam asks. “Your kitchen’s empty, your pantry doesn’t look like it’s ever seen food. How do you feed yourself, Amiyah?” he takes a step towards me. “You don’t, do you?” 

“Sam-”

“Amiyah.” He takes a step forward, his entire body suddenly tense. “Tell me you don’t skip meals.”

 _How did he- oh god, no no no no no-_ “Sue and Harry can’t find out.” A million things run through my head at once but _that, that of all things_ is what comes out, and Sam has the audacity to _laugh._

“They’re going to find out,” he says, taking another step toward me. 

My feet hit the grass. I look around, looking for another way out, but Sam’s tense, the fierce look in his eyes screaming that he’s ready to run if I try. “Sam-”

“They’re going to find out,” he repeats, “because I’m going to tell them.” 

“No.” My stomach twists. “You wouldn’t- you can’t!” 

“Harry and Sue would want to know.” 

“It’s none of your _business!_ ” I sound like a child, shrill and screaming. I’m shaking as I back into the grass, shaking as I keep walking, looking frantically around me. _There’s nowhere to escape._ Nowhere to hide. I’m trapped. 

“You’ve been lying to them this whole time,” Sam sneers as he gets closer. “You told them you could take care of yourself, but you’ve never been able to do even that, have you? You’re pathetic.”

“I’m not.” I tense. We’re close to the woods now. Everything’s starting to ache again, and the sun is getting so bright it’s hard to keep my eyes open. “Sam-”

“They never should have let you move out.” He continues, something hard and dangerous glinting in his eyes. “You’re just a child.” 

“Please, don’t-” something inside me snaps. I fall to the ground hard, shiver as _cold_ floods my entire body for just a second before it’s replaced with heat. “Sam _-!_ ”

My whole body explodes. 

There’s no warning. No sharp pain, nothing different then what I’d been feeling. Just… panic, anger, fear, then an explosion. And then I’m lunging at Sam, my human thoughts going out the window as instinct takes over and the world stops making sense. 

Sam explodes too, and for one terrible moment, I’m forced to the back of my mind, pushed down by the sheer weight of the rage and confusion that flood the new parts of my headspace. 

_Enemy. Threat. Danger._ The black wolf in front of me is taller than I am. It has glossy black fur and eyes that glint in the dappled sun. It mirrors my movements as I lower myself to the ground, my whole body tensing as I shift my weight, preparing to jump.

And then I catch a glimpse of the ash-colored paw near where my hand should be. And then I realize what I’m _doing._ The growl that leaves my parted jaws is all beast and no human. Somehow, everything is different--literally.

I am the wolf. The wolf is me. 

_“Holy shit.”_

_“Stand down, Amiyah.”_ Sam’s voice. But Sam is gone, and in his place...is the black wolf. 

_“Holy shit,”_ I say again, everything finally slipping into place. _“You’re- I’m-”_

 _“I can explain.”_ Sam straightens, lifts his head, his stance easing into a more neutral one. _“Just calm down.”_

 _“I’m…” I am calm,_ I try to say, but it’s a lie. My head is spinning. I have absolutely zero idea what’s going on. _“Okay.”_ Deep breaths. Who cares if they come out as low growls instead of the very human exhale I’m used to? I certainly don’t!

_Is this...what being insane feels like?_

Sam laughs. It’s a weird sound, coming from him, but I relax the moment I hear it. _“Follow me.”_

 _“Hey, is that Amiyah?”_ Another voice butts in, too loud and _way_ too enthusiastic. _“Amiyah finally phased!”_

 _“What the-”_ I guess it shouldn’t come as a shock--I can hear Sam’s voice in my head, why not anyone else? But this new voice--and the softer, more pressing thoughts that come with it--is overwhelming, achingly so. _“Who-”_ I recognize the voice, see its owner in Sam’s mind. _“Embry? Embry Call?”_

 _“That’s me!_ ” Again with the enthusiasm. _“Man is it good to have a new voice in here- even if it is a girl.”_

 _“The hell is that supposed to mean?”_ I growl, but I can hear the amusement in Embry’s tone, and instead of anger I find myself smiling instead. Along this strange mind-link we share, I can hear the others laughing too. 

At least, until Sam’s warning growl reverberates through my head and we all go silent, waiting for him to speak. He gives orders, sends Jared and Embry on patrols around the forest, sends Paul to check the borders. Nobody argues. They all follow without a word. 

_“That’s because Sam’s our alpha,”_ says Embry. _“We have to follow him. Otherwise…”_

He trails off, and a queasy, unsettled silence ripples through our link.

 _“Sam was the first of us to phase,”_ Paul says by way of explanation. 

_“Phase,”_ I echo, the foreign term a brief distraction as Sam and I turn a sharp corner, accelerating into a steeper part of the forest. I slip, my front paws spilling into the leaves in front of me, and growl when Embry and Jared laugh.

 _“Phasing is what we call it when we change,”_ Sam says. _“It’s dangerous, volatile-”_

_“Exhilarating,” Embry interjects._

_“And it’s their fault.”_

With a start, I realize that we’ve all come together, our paths intersecting at the point in which the forest gives way to a nasty, jagged cliff. The rocks cut away to a churning sea below, the waves throwing salt spray up onto the brush, spitting mist onto my face. 

Normally, I’d love the salty smell. But something stronger lies beneath it--a sharp, bitter scent beneath it. It pierces my nostrils, cuts deep beneath my skin and makes my new instincts bristle. I let out a huff and back away, the scent deep in my throat no matter how much I will it away. _“What the hell is that?”_

 _“That,”_ Sam says with a low, furious growl, _“is the Cullens.”_

_“The Cullens. Like, Dr. Cullen? Up in Forks?”_

_“His family are all vampires--leeches. The Cold Ones from the old stories.”_ Embry walks up beside me. _“You...do know the old stories, right?”_

 _“Of course.”_ I lived with Billy Black for five years--I heard at least one of our tribes’ old tales every day. 

_“They’re bound by the same treaty we are, forbidden to touch our land. Yet their very presence here has changed us all.”_ Sam explains. His voice is soft, but I can feel the anger in it, the hate. _“And our tribe will continue to change until the day they leave.”_

 _“Isn’t there anything we can do?”_ I ask. _“Can’t we just...ask them to leave?”_

A round of laughter echoes through our link. 

_“If we could have forced them to leave, we would have done it generations ago.”_ Sam says. _“We were chosen to protect our lands from them, protect our tribe. It’s our duty, and now it’s yours. Will you accept it?”_

 _Yes,_ my instincts whisper, conjuring up the same hatred and disgust for the Cold Ones that I can feel swirling in their minds. But the strong, stubborn answer that builds inside me isn’t what comes out. Instead, I whisper, _“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”_

Again, silence falls, tense and uncomfortable. 

_“No, you don’t.”_ Sam says. He says it softly, but my heart still aches at his words. _“You do this for the rest of your life.”_

 _“We were made for this.”_ Paul says. 

_“You’re not alone anymore,”_ Embry adds. _“We’re behind you all the way.”_

 _“Yeah, you think we’re really gonna throw you out there without teaching you anything? C’mon.”_ Jared bumps into me with an amused huff. _“This is just the beginning, baby! You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”_

 _“Thanks._ ” 

_“But of course!’_

_“...Jared?”_

He blinks at me. The rest of the pack starts to trot away, but I stare at the cliffs, unamused. _“Call me ‘baby’ again and I’ll throw you off the edge.”_

_“Uh-”_

_“I like her already,”_ Embry quips, jogging ahead of the pack. _“Sam, permission to show her around?”_

 _“Granted.”_ Sam growls out a warning. _“Just make it quick. She still has to learn how to phase back.”_

Right, becoming human again. Surrounded by all these new scents and sensations, I have to admit...going back to two legs almost doesn’t sound appealing. 

_“Don’t worry--your senses will still be enhanced even after you phase back.”_ Embry says. _“One of the perks-”_

_“You keep doing that.”_

_“Doing what?”_

_“Acting like you can just...read my mind.”_

Embry laughs. _“Amiyah, I hate to break it to you, but I kinda...can.”_

 _“What?!”_ I shrill, much to Embry’s annoyance. He flinches, whines softly. 

_“Not so loud! It’s one of the...less appealing parts of being in a pack- we can hear each other’s thoughts. Even the ones we don’t say.”_

_Nothing’s hidden._

_“Nothing,”_ Jared agrees, and I blanche, pull back with a growl _._

Sam. Paul. Jared. Embry. I’ve seen them all around the rez, known them for years without really saying more than a word to any of them. But now I’m here. And they’re…

 _“We’re a pack,”_ Sam says, pride in his voice. 

_“We’re brothers,”_ says Jared. 

_“We’re family,”_ says Embry.

And I hear them. I really do. But _I don’t know them,_ so how do I know I can trust them? How do I know they won’t-

 _“It’s part of learning to be in a pack,”_ Sam says. _“Learning how to trust.”_

 _“We can keep secrets.”_ Jared says. _“We have to.”_

_“Yeah, this seems pretty important.”_

Again, that tense silence, like the most important things are the ones that sting the most. 

_“Alpha’s orders can’t be broken,”_ Embry whispers. 

_“You can’t tell anyone about this, Amiyah.”_ Sam’s words take over my whole being. They carve themselves into my brain, sit there, aching until I poke at them, take them to heart. _“Ever.”_

 _“I understand.”_ It’s the only thing I can say. Literally- the command gives me no other option. 

And with that, our tour continues. 

_“This is ridiculous.”_

_“Regardless, it must be done.”_

_“I’ve been sitting here for hours-”_

_“As have I.”_

_“Yeah but you can phase back properly!”_

It’s stupid. We’ve been having this conversation for _hours._ Sam is convinced that I can phase back. I’m convinced that I can’t. I think the time that I’ve dedicated to this speaks for itself--Sam thinks I’m being childish. 

_“I never said that.”_

_“You said it earlier,”_ I snarl, ignoring the initial _get out of my head_ comment that instinctively crosses my mind the moment he reads my thoughts. 

_“Is that what this is about?”_ Sam sighs. _“I said what I said because I needed to get you to phase- your body was ready but your mind was resisting-”_

 _“That doesn’t change anything! It changes nothing!”_ I interrupt with a snarl. _“The things you said were wrong! And rude!”_

_“If I apologize, will it change the way you’re feeling?”_

_“No.’_

_“Then this conversation isn’t necessary. You need to focus on phasing back. I’ve told you what you need to do. The rest is up to you.”_

And with that, he’s gone. 

_Seriously?! Some alpha._ But I feel him disappear, feel the link go totally silent. The loneliness is overwhelming--especially because I can hear the others inside. I’m stuck. 

I lay on the ground with my head resting on my front paws, whine out loud as I stare longingly at Emily’s house, at the pile of dry clothes sitting a few feet away. 

_‘Your body was ready but your mind was resisting’--_ as much as I hate to admit it, Sam’s probably right. I’m stubborn, always have been. Asking for help is...not my favorite thing in the world, and yet, Sam gave it anyway. He could have just left me out here without saying anything, but he didn’t. _‘Focus on your human self’_ might not be the best of advice, but it’s all I have. Am I just...holding onto the idea of figuring it out on my own? Why can’t I just be grateful for his help? Why am I so-

And just like that, I’m human again. 

The leaves are slick beneath my skin as I stand up, instantly aware of my...vulnerability. I lunge for the clothes Emily left for me-- _what an angel--_ and throw them on, breathing a sigh of relief when the familiar feel of cotton hugs my shoulders. 

The denim shorts she left are another story--they fit, _sort of,_ but they’re...shorter than they should be, which doesn’t make sense. I’ve only seen Emily a few times, but I thought she and I were the same height, and we’re about the same size, so why…?

_Did I--? No way, that’s insane._

_...then again, I did just...turn into a giant wolf-_

“Amiyah!” A door opens. I can hear Embry leaning against it, the hinges creaking beneath his weight. “If you’re phased back, come inside already! Emily made muffins!”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice--the heavily aroma wafts out of the door, smothering the woodsy scenes around me. I throw my anxieties aside and let my stomach have the lead, head towards the house and bound up to meet where Embry’s waiting. 

He stares at me, silent for a moment. “Dude-”

My face grows warm. I’m suddenly aware of everyone staring at me. I pull at the shirt of Emily’s, suddenly realizing how tight it is, and shoulder past Embry without another word. 

“You did it!” Jared exclaims, breaking the silence. His smile is contagious; I take a seat closest to the tray of muffins on the counter and grab one of the few remaining ones, ignoring the way Embry and Jared watch me, chuckling the whole time. 

I’m starving. Freaking _starving-_ there’s three muffins left on the tray and I eat them all, turning to glare at the others after I’ve swallowed the last bite. 

“Don’t look now, but I think you’re in trouble, Paul.” Jared snickers. 

Paul glances at me, a bored look in his eyes. “Not my problem they’re all gone,” he says, “snooze you lose.” 

I growl. “I was out there working my _ass_ off trying to phase back-”

“You mean laying around?” Paul snorts. “You do realize we could see you, right? Didn’t look like you were trying too hard.” 

“You don’t know anything!” I’m up and in his face before I realize what’s happening, fists clenched at my sides, ready to fight if I need to. 

“That’s enough,” Sam snaps, “both of you. Back off.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” I mumble. “I just wanted more food.”

“No worries!” A cheerful voice chirps from around the corner. “I always have more food.” 

Emily. She walks into the kitchen and immediately opens the stove, revealing yet another pan of muffins. 

The kitchen’s a blur of movement after that, all of us scrambling to claim one of the sweet-smelling prizes for ourselves. I get there first, but I’m swept away by the rest of the pack, even Sam--much to my own amusement. 

“You should head home, go get some sleep.” Embry says after most of the noise dies down. “Sam’s gonna want you back here early tomorrow.” 

“You deserve to get cleaned up,” Emily smiles at me. She puts a plate full of muffins in my hand. “Embry’s right- Sam has no respect for sleep-”

“I heard that,” her fiance rumbles from across the room. 

Emily shakes her head. “Get some rest.”

“Thanks, Emily.” I smile back at her. “And thanks for the muffins.”

“Sleep well! And Amiyah?” 

“Hm?” I turn back towards her. 

“Maybe...look in a mirror once you get back? You owe that to yourself too.” 

“Um.” I frown, catching the packs’ soft snickering behind her. “Okay. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight!” She waves at me. A chorus of howling and playful yipping sounds behind her, follows me all the way to the road. 

My pack--my new brothers--is full of complete and utter psychos. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started out as immensely difficult to write but somewhere in the middle I hit my stride and ended up having so much fun bringing this to life!  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Blur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amiyah goes cliff-diving and learns of an interesting side effect to phasing.

I manage a shower, but that’s it. I collapse into bed and don’t move for a solid ten hours, waking only when a loud whistle sounds from outside. 

Well. I guess everything sounds loud now, but the whistle wakes me up regardless, and I know exactly what it’s signalling. 

That’s when I look in the mirror for the first time. 

And stare, startled, by the tall, skinny stranger staring back at me. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve never considered myself...unattractive, but I’ve never considered myself to be super pretty either--I’m the kind of girl that gets passed over by the guys on the rez. I’m never the one asked on dates or flirted with, I just...watch. Sue always said it was my temper--”those boys just aren’t sure what to do with a girl who can talk back,” she’d say, her hands on her hips and a sad twinkle in her eye--but I never believed her. 

But. Um. Now? I barely recognize myself. I’m taller, for one thing, and yeah, skinnier, but it’s the arms that get me, the way my skin is taut, exposing my biceps--slim, rounded things that stick out more now--but in a way that’s still sort of subtle, barely there. 

...who am I kidding? Everyone’s gonna notice. I’m...I don’t know what to do.

Another whistle, higher in pitch, more impatient. I snort, then duck out of the hallway, jog outside, where Paul is standing on my back porch, looking like he’s seconds away from banging down the door. 

“When we call, you come,” he growls, glaring at me. 

I glare right back. “If you’re gonna wake me up you’re gonna have to give me a second to get dressed, Paul, jeez. We can’t all walk around without a shirt on.” 

“Dude,” Embry cackles from halfway across the field. “She got you.” 

“Whatever,” Paul mumbles, stomping past me. 

Sam and Jared are way ahead, but as we all start toward the trees, Embry freezes, his gaze fixed on something behind us. I turn around. 

“Embry? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says, his voice shaking.

I snort. “No, really. What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing,” he says again, harsher. 

I follow his gaze, toward the boy standing alone on the edge of the road across from my house. “Is that...Quil?”

“Yep.” Embry presses his lips together. “He’s...he and Jake are mad at me. They think I abandoned them.”

And...suddenly, I feel like an idiot. “That’s right- you three were close, weren’t you?” 

“What we do, we do for the good of the pack.” Sam growls. “I  _ will not  _ listen to either of you second guessing my commands, is that clear?” 

“Yes.” Embry whispers, still staring at Quil.

“Amiyah?” Sam presses. 

“Crystal.” I turn around, tug at Embry’s arm, and follow Sam as we head into the trees, toward Emily’s house. “So, uh, what’s on the agenda today?” 

Jared turns to grin at me--an unsettling sort of look that’s more like a smirk, and every bit as devilish. “Oh, you’ll see. You’ll see…”

Emily’s house smells just as good the second time I walk in. 

“She’s always cooking,” Jared snorts as we pile in. “Soon as she figured out we have increased metabolisms, she started making sure we’re never hungry.”

Embry nods, a blissful expression on his face. “She’s a really good cook.”

“Amiyah.” Sam, it seems, has a nasty habit of sucking all the life out of a conversation. He draws my attention nevertheless. “There’s a few things we have to take care of.”

_ Uh, what?  _ “Such as?” 

“Your tattoo, dude!” Embry exclaims, turning so I can see the elaborate design on his shoulder. “We all have one. Shows you’re part of the pack!”

“The second thing is much more pleasant, I promise.” Emily ducks in, a small black bag in hand and a comb in the other. She frowns. “Well...pleasant might not be the right word…”

“You were probably too...confused to notice last night, but your fur in wolf form is...long.” Embry says. “Only way to fix it is by cutting your hair.” 

“That...makes sense,” I mumble, absentmindedly hoping it doesn’t come out as depressed as it feels. Embry’s expression makes me think otherwise. “Um. And...a tattoo?” 

“Hair first,” Emily says, unzipping her bag to reveal another comb and a pair of scissors. “I’m afraid you don’t get much say in how it looks…”

_ Practicality,  _ I tell myself, shutting my eyes as Embry and Sam back off and Emily begins to cut.  _ Don’t wanna look like a fancy mutt in front of the vamps.  _

I jump at the first snip. Emily rubs my arm. She hums as she works, maneuvering the scissors around my head, taking time to comb through the strands before she cuts. 

I end up shutting my eyes. Enhanced senses don’t really mix well with objects being close to your head. I can practically feel Sam standing nearby, waiting on me to lose it and phase, but I don’t. And when Emily finally finishes, I stand up and thank her, even though turning only accentuates the lack of weight on my head. 

“Tattoo next,” says Sam, and Emily quickly disappears. 

The process...isn’t fun. It hurts. And then it doesn’t. But then it does, and I repeat the process--hurting and healing, hurting and healing--so many times that I’m exhausted by the end. Panting, I wait until possible second to unclench my shoulder, roll my hand over my collar bone to alleviate the cramp beginning to burn beneath. From my vantage point, the design makes no coherent sense. It’s just a bunch of lines, all of them intersecting to form shapes, but beyond that… I got nothin. 

“It’s wolves,” Jared laughs when I admit my confusion, “two wolves coming together to make a third--the pack coming together to form a unit.”

“‘S that what Sam told you?” I ask with a wry smile, well aware of Sam’s presence behind me. “Looks like a bunch of-”

“That’s enough.” There’s no anger in Sam’s words, and yet still his tone is flat. Jared and I share a grin. “We’re headed for the cliffs next.” 

“Hell yeah!” Embry exclaims. “Wait until you see the view, Amiyah. It’s great!”

I frown. “Aren’t these...the same cliffs we saw yesterday?” 

“This...is gonna be a little bit different,” Jared exchanges a look with Paul and Embry. “You’ll see,” he singsongs, shouldering past me with the arm bearing his tattoo. 

His tattoo- I guess there is some sort of pride in it, the fact that we all have the same mark. We really are a pack- a family. And it’s kinda-

“Amiyah! Let’s go!” 

I start to run, but then I realize they’re  _ phasing,  _ and for one terribly moment I’m stuck with the idea that  _ I have to go through all of yesterday’s chaos again  _ but it’s easier the second time, and once they’re gone I shut my eyes, concentrate on the  _ thing  _ in my chest--the pool of not-human instinct that whispers when I shut my eyes--and  _ change.  _

_ “You did it!”  _ Embry chants with an excited laugh _. “Nice one, Miyah. Does anyone call you Miyah? I think it’s cool, kinda like-” _

_ “It’s Amiyah.”  _ My brain immediately flickers to an image of Sarah--her porcelain features and perfect lips curling as she calls me ‘Mi-Mi’--and I suppress the urge to growl.  _ “I don’t do nicknames.” _

I can  _ feel  _ Embry shrink.  _ “Right. Uh, sorry.” _

_ “Don’t worry about it,” _ I snort.  _ “You couldn’t have known.” _

True to their word, the boys take me to a different cliffside this time. It’s still terrifying--being up so high is breathtaking. I can see everything from the edge of the cliffs, to the water below, to the mountain road across the way with surprising clarity. A thrill runs through me at the sight.  _ “It’s all so beautiful.” _

_ “That’s nothing, Amiyah--phase back and we’ll have some real fun.”  _

Right. Easier said than done. I slink away from the rest of them, focus, and...phase. Smoothly--not even a complaint. When I phase, the wolf inside me takes over and my human brain sort of fades to the background, but it’s still there. They switch. Focus on one and it’s easier. Maybe,  _ maybe  _ I can control this after all. 

“Amiyah, let’s go!” Sam calls. 

I throw on my clothes and jog over to them, stretching as I lean back to get a better view of the sky and the massive cliffs. “What are we doing out here anyway?”

“Jumping, duh,” Jared scoffs. “Don’t tell me you’ve never gone cliff diving before.”

“No way! I’m not stupid.” 

“Neither are we!” 

“Sounds an awful lot like you’re scared, Amiyah.” Paul sneers, taking one step towards me. His arms twitch and I tense, ready to defend myself against the attack I know is coming. “Maybe you wouldn’t mind going first?” 

There’s no rocks down there. I’d see them if there were. That...doesn’t make the idea of jumping any more appealing. 

“Dunno Paul, if you’re so brave, why don’t you jump first?” I grin back, curl my lip and shift my weight so that I’m ready to spring forward, grab him and chuck him off the ledge. 

“If we’re gangin’ up on Paul I’m so in,” Embry says with a conspiratorial smirk. He lifts an eyebrow in a silent question-- _ Ready?  _

I barely nod in response, but it’s enough of a signal that Paul darts in my direction, his hands missing my shoulder as he flails through the open air. 

“Now!” I shout, and Embry grabs one of Paul’s arms as I grab the other. Together, we toss him over the cliff, both of us doubling over as we cackle, watching as he falls, an elated howl ripping through the air. 

“Your turn!” Jared yells, but I’m ready for him, spin on my heel and duck around him as he lunges toward me. He shrieks as I shove him off the cliff, both hands on his back, and lets out a loud  _ “WHOOP!”  _ just like Paul did before hitting the waves below. 

I glance back up at Sam and Embry. They’re both just staring at me, shaking their heads and smiling, but it’s obvious what comes next. 

One of us has to go.

And before either of them can push me off, I jump.

Wind rushes in my ears. It’s a long way down. Beneath me, the ocean is like a thousand shards of glass, roiling and bristling as white spray sloshes against the fragments of cerulean and jade. 

A shrill scream escapes me as I near the water, and I hit the surface just as a massive wave hits. My head goes beneath and I come up hacking, my throat and lungs burning, my vision blurring as I scrub the salt from my eyes. I look up just as Embry jumps, slip underwater to dive out of the way just as he splashes into our little circle.

“Sam always goes last,” Embry says between gasps when he comes up. “He-”

“Embry?” I blink. His expression’s gone blank, and he’s staring way past us, up toward the mountain, on the empty road with-

Wait. Not empty. There’s an orange eyesore of a truck on the road where there was no one a few minutes ago. There’s a girl standing by the side closest to the cliffs, and beside her… 

“Jacob,” Embry mumbles with a frown. 

“Dude, there’s no point in moping around about it.” Jared says. “We all know he’s gonna phase eventually-”

“Phase.” The word feels cold on my tongue. “You mean, he’s one of us?” 

“Well yeah, he’s Ephraim Black’s great-grandson.” Jared says. “He’s the rightful alpha- Sam’s got the role because he was the first of us to phase.”

“The default alpha.” I nod.

Jared snorts. “But still an alpha.” 

“The gene lies dormant in many, but activates in few.” Sam says. He stands up in the water, droplets rolling off his shoulders as he remains unfazed by the waves. “Jacob has been showing signs of being close to phasing for a while, but something is holding him back.”

“It’s probably that leech-lover he hangs out with so much.” Embry growls. “He’s so happy with her-”

“Wouldn’t you want him to be happy?”

“Did you miss the part where I said she hangs out with  _ vampires? _ ” Embry snarls, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he whirls toward me, his shoulders shaking. “She’s a freak. I don’t know how she ever found out about the Cullens, but she  _ reeks  _ of their damn scent.”

“I’ve-”

“That’s enough,” Sam suddenly growls. “Bella’s decisions are her own.” 

I bite my lip. “Bella?”

“Her  _ name.”  _ Embry rolls his eyes. “Bella Swan, daughter of the Forks’ police chief.”

“I’ve met her.” 

Simultaneously, everyone blinks. Embry tenses.

“I work at the grocery store in Forks. She came in the other day, said Jacob was fixing up a couple of bikes for her. She was buying food.” 

“They’ve been working on those bikes for weeks now,” Embry grumbles. “She barely had to ask him. He’d anything for her, the-” he freezes suddenly, swallows, his whole body going stiff as he struggles to control the tremors wracking his body. 

“We’re done here,” Sam says. “Embry, take a lap. The rest of you head home. Amiyah- you’ll be running patrols with Jared and I tonight. Go get some rest.”

_ Patrols.  _ A thrill runs through me, and I look back at Sam with a nod. “I’ll be there.” 

“It’s not like you’ve got a choice,” Jared says, shouldering past me with a soft shove. “C’mon, we should get back to the rez. I’ll race you.”

“Oh, you’re  _ so on. _ ” I look toward the forest, analyzing the path back home. “How shall we go? By two legs? Or by four?” 

His smile widens into a smirk. “Let’s test that new speed of yours.”

“New-”

“C’mon. Better if I show you.”

I shrug, groan as he breaks into a sprint, and follow him down the beaten path, Sam’s laughter fading into the wind. 

Enhanced speed. I’m not as fast as I’d be if I was in wolf form, but Jared and I still fly down the side of the mountain. I’m barely a few steps ahead of him when I stop, straining to hear the fleeting sound I swear I heard just a second ago. 

“It’s not a race if you’re not running, Amiyah,” Jared teases. He’s not winded. Neither am I. 

“I thought I heard something,” I mumble, much to his amusement. “Something like- there it is again!”

An engine revs, a loud, jagged sound that rattles in my head and grates at my ears. 

“That’s...a motorcycle.” Jared frowns. “Not a lot of places to ride one around here, so they probably came down here. Fewer cars too.”

“Yeah.” I’m...anxious. Tense, stomach fluttering as I listen to the sound. I can’t figure out why. Sure it’s loud, but it’s not like I haven’t heard a motorcycle before, something just doesn’t-

_ “Bella!”  _ The motorcycle roars then sputters, silences after a loud crash that fills the entire forest. 

“Amiyah! Don’t-”

But I’m already running, fear fueling anxiety as I duck between the trees, finally coming across Bella and Jacob. Bella’s on the ground, groaning, the motorcycle’s wheels still spinning where she lost it. Jacob’s on the other bike, headed towards her like a knight in shining armor, his long hair whipping in the wind. 

“Bella,” he grimaces, barely stopping to turn off the bike before he’s kneeling down with his shirt off, clenching it in his hand to dab up the blood. “Bella, what the hell?”

“I’m-” Bella winces. “Ow…” 

“Are you okay?” Jacob asks. 

Bella nods. “Oh my god, I’m sorry,” she blurts out, lifting a hand to her head. Unsurprisingly, it comes away bloody. 

Jacob’s eyebrows knit together. “Are you...apologizing for bleeding?”

“I guess I am,” Bella murmurs, and Jacob snorts, shaking his head. 

Then he sees me. 

My world stops. In the pit of my chest, a deep-rooted instinct rears its head, rises up and roars in a single word-- **_”Mine.”_ **

“Hello?” Jacob straightens his shoulders, crosses his arms. “I asked you a question, Amiyah. What are you doing out here?”

“I’m…” I’m a mess. I can’t form words. My thoughts bounce off of each other in a starburst of instinct and emotion. 

“Amiyah and I were hiking,” Jared says, stepping forward. He glances at me, concern in his eyes, and I step back, bite my lip. “We were headed back when we heard you crash.” 

He’s- I can feel him shaking, being this close to Bella. It’s a good thing it’s him with me and not Embry, otherwise we might have another problem on our hands, one...beyond whatever this is. 

“Hiking.” Jacob blinks. His gaze flickers back to me, and I tense under the weight of his deep dark eyes. “This far out?” 

“We do what we want.” Jared crosses his arms. 

“Are...you okay?” Bella asks, staring at me. “You don’t look so good.” 

‘I’m fine,” I snap, my head finally clearing. “The hell are you doing out here? Roads are wet, everything’s muddy. It’s not safe.” 

“We can take care of ourselves.” Jacob says. “Besides, hiking is just as dangerous-”

“Not for us,” I growl, shifting toward Jacob. “You-”

“We should go.” Jared whispers, grabbing my arm. “Amiyah, we need to go.” 

“But I-” 

“Now.” He growls a warning and I jerk away. Just the thought of leaving Jacob behind makes me want to puke. I almost do, but Jared’s pulling me away and he starts running again, his hand in mine, dragging me along until we’re way out of sight. 

“Jared-” I jerk out of his hand, double over, the world spinning. I heave, gag, slump forward on my hands and knees, my forehead touching the dirt as I try desperately to control my breathing. 

Everything hurts. I’m hot all over. It’s like I’m phasing for the first time all over again. 

“We need to get you to Sam.” Jared kneels down beside me. “Are you okay?”

“I...don’t know.” I straighten, turn longingly in the direction of Jacob and Bella. “I just want…” 

“I know.” Jared winces. “But you can’t. We’ve gotta get to Sam’s, Amiyah. Keep up.” 

_ Jacob.  _

The whole forest spans between him and I by the time I’m done running. It takes an eternity to get to Sam’s house. By the time we make it, I’ve accidentally phased. Jared goes inside first. A few minutes later, Emily comes out, hesitant, a bundle of clothes in her hand. 

“She imprinted,” Jared’s saying when I go back inside. “Not that I know what it feels like, but I saw it in your memories, and-”

“Amiyah?” Emily murmurs, putting one hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I think so.” My voice is shaking.  _ I’m _ shaking. I’ve never been more confused in my entire life, and last I phased into a goddamn  _ giant wolf.  _

“Tell me what happened.” 

Behind me, Emily sighs. A silent look passes between her and Sam as she leads me onto the couch. She heads into the kitchen, rummages around for a second, and returns with a bottle of water. 

“After we left you at the cliffs, Jared and I heard a crash, and when we went to go check on it… Jacob and Bella were there.” 

Sam tenses. An audible growl rumbles in his throat as he moves to stand in front of me, gaze bearing down on me with an intensity I can’t break away from. “You imprinted…”

“On Jacob Black.” I swallow. My throat goes absolutely dry at the confession.  _ I have no idea what imprinting is,  _ but it feels...heavy, somehow, important in a way I can’t wrap my head around. 

Sam stands up. He paces the full length of the room once, runs a hand through his hair. “Amiyah, come with me.”

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask, not moving. “Because even if I did...I’m not sure I can take it back.” 

“I know you can’t,” Sam huffs, “but this is- the elders will know what to do.”  _ Because I don’t.  _ The admission goes unsaid. 

“The elders?!” I panic, scooting backward. “Do they know-”

“They know everything, everything about us, and everything about imprinting.” Sam says. He sighs. “Let’s go.” 

“But I want to know-”

“You’ll get your answers,” he snaps, “let’s  _ go. _ ”

Calling the elders into a meeting sounds more dramatic than it actually is. This I learn quickly. The “meeting” is a circle of chairs in a house that’s totally empty except for Old Quil. 

I’m more than a little anxious as we enter, especially when I see Harry and-- _ oh, jeez-- _ Billy. What’s he gonna say when he finds out I-

“Amiyah!” 

“Harry!” I barely manage to squeak out before he scoops me into his arms and squeezes hard. “It’s good to see you.”

“Trust me, kid, the feeling’s mutual.” He puts a hand on my shoulder, then looks me up and down. “How’re you feeling?”

“Besides...everything? Great.” It’s not  _ entirely  _ a lie, but my gaze does drift as Billy rolls in, Sam behind him. Both of their expressions are unreadable. “Um, excuse me.” 

“Sure,” Harry frowns, his expression quizzical as I move to kneel by Billy’s side. “Billy-”

“Shh.” He doesn’t smile, but his eyes are kind when he looks at me. “Everything will be explained in time.” 

I hear their words.  _ Some of it  _ makes sense. I wish it all did. I wish I had a reason to deny it. 

Jacob Black is my imprint. 

Imprinting--a connection. A bond born of pure instinct, one formed when someone meets their soulmate for the first time after phasing. According to Sam and Billy, it’s a relationship that’s almost sacred. The pack can’t hurt the imprint of one of its own. 

Sam...imprinted on Emily shortly after he phased. And it caused a whole thing between him and Leah, which I already sort of knew, but hearing it again (from the right perspective this time) shifts things a little. 

Just hearing Jacob’s name mentioned over and over s enough to make me want to scream. 

“She’s not going to be able to stay away from him.” Sam says. “Jacob isn’t ready to phase.” 

Harry snorts around the lip of his beer. “He’s not going to have any interest in being around her anyway, not while Charlie’s girl is around.”

My whole body goes rigid. A low, very wolfish growl rumbles in my chest. 

“Amiyah?” Harry glances at me as I bristle, stand up, and cross the room. “Are you alright?”

“Need some air,” I mumble, shaking away Sam’s hand as he tries to stop me. 

“Amiyah.”  _ Damn him.  _ He follows me. “Amiyah, there’s nothing you can do about this.” 

“What do you want me to do, Sam?” I yell, whirling around, hands clenching at my sides. “You want me to stay away? Protect our secret even though  _ everything in me  _ wants to be around  _ him? _ He’s- I can’t, Sam. I can’t stay away from him. I won’t.”

It’s a dumb thing to say. I know it. He knows it. But though his shoulders tense and a soft growl sounds in his throat at my words, he doesn’t snap, even though I know he’s close.  _ I’m  _ close. My entire body blazes with the warmth of the imprint. Its sweet song sings loud in my ears, and I can’t drown it out. I’m helpless. Utterly helpless. 

“I’m not telling you to stay away from him. I know you can’t.” Sam says. “You have to consider what’s right for you and Jacob, Amiyah. Be honest. Could you stand to be near him with Bella around as often as she is?” 

Just thinking about her-- “No.” 

“You’re still new to this. You can’t control yourself.” He doesn’t even have to point it out- I’m on the verge of phasing now as it is. “If you hurt Bella, you’d hurt Jacob. Learning to control yourself is the only way to get through this.” 

Hurt Jacob-- _ no. I can’t. I’d never-  _

“Go home, Amiyah.” 

“What? But what about the elders-”

“Your part in this is done. Rest. Remember you’re still on patrol tonight.” Sam starts walking back to the house. “And Amiyah?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not in this alone anymore. So stop acting like it.”

I fall asleep. 

But I dream of Jacob. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which family is a thing that shifts as Amiyah needs it to.

_2 Weeks Later_

“Seth Clearwater, you get back here right now!”

_Um. Good morning world._

I roll over with a groan, glance at my phone, then snort. “Morning”. It’s 6pm. The guys haven’t woken me up yet, which probably means it’s Saturday. I lost the ability to keep track of time a while ago--apparently that’s a hard thing to do when you spend 85% of your time in wolf-form. 

“Seth!”

Footsteps, headed quickly in the direction of my house. I can hear Seth panting on the other side of my wall, hear him as he bounds up the path to my door. His fist bangs hard against the wood, too hard. He’s angry. Rightfully so. 

I can’t let him in. 

I’m _supposed_ to be getting over a bad flu--the kind that puts you in bed for weeks on end, renders you so exhausted that just getting up to go to the bathroom is a chore. It’s all a lie, of course--I haven’t been sick, apparently I can’t anymore--but Seth doesn’t know that, and I’ve had the pleasure of eavesdropping as he rages against the unfairness of it all. 

He misses me. 

It _hurts._

But then, everything hurts, lately. Being human hurts. Being a wolf hurts. But at least when I’m in wolf form, I can ignore the anger, anxiety, and restraint that being a human requires. It makes living easier. It makes _breathing_ easier. There are a lot of things I’ve stopped feeling over the last two weeks, and I’m grateful for that. 

But staying in wolf form doesn't make living without Jacob easier. That part is harder. The staying human part is harder without him. I learned that quickly--so did Sam and everyone else.

I spent the whole night in this bed, human the whole time. Moments like this are rare now. I attempted to spend last night in my house but ended up phasing at the last moment. I haven’t slept a full night in a week. 

Jacob Black haunts my dreams. 

It’s the memory of him more than anything else. I haven’t really known him in years; I moved out of the Black house and into the Clearwaters’ after that, before I moved away and stayed at a place in Forks for a bit. 

That was...I’ve tried really hard over the years to blot those memories out.

Imprinting on Jacob’s changed all that. 

“Amiyah, I know you’re in there!”

Right, Seth. The knocking. Seth Clearwater’s on my doorstep, sounding angrier than I’ve ever heard him. 

Faced with the thought of having to explain why the hell I look like I’m on some sort of weird steroids, I lay back down and shut my eyes. 

“Dammit Amiyah, don’t make me come in there!”

 _What’s he gonna do, break down the door?_ I snort into my pillow. He’s still just a kid. 

“ _Amiyah!”_

I sit up. 

_“I miss you,”_ Seth whispers. His hand slips against the door as he slumps, knees hitting the ground. His head thumps against the door. 

_Jesus._ For someone who’s supposed to be ignoring him, I’m doing a terrible job. 

A whistle. _Thank god._ I glance out my window and catch a glimpse of Embry and Paul standing in the grass several yards away. They’re waiting for me, and Paul is pretty impatient. _Normally_ I’d try to take as long as possible to get outside, but lately it’s been different. I’ve stopped caring. 

I throw open my window and jump out onto the grass. 

It’s too loud. 

I hear Seth gasp as he hears movement, hear the grass crunch beneath his feet as he runs down the side yard and in my direction. It’s coming- the moment I’ve been pushing off for so long is here now, Seth is going to see me and I’m going to have to explain why I’m suddenly hanging out with the guys we used to laugh at just a month ago-

“Amiyah!” Embry hollers. “Let’s go!”

 _Shit. He’s making things worse!_ I’m gonna kill him. Phased or not, he’s dead meat. 

“Amiyah?” Seth comes around the corner. I’m already running toward Embry and Paul, but it’s too little, too late. He sees me. I can almost hear his heart skip a beat. “Amiyah?” He breathes, shaken. “What are you doing...with them?”

“Took you long enough,” Paul begins as I near. 

But I only have eyes for Embry. 

“Screw you,” I snarl, slugging his arm as soon as I’m within reach. “Seth’s been knocking on my door for the last five minutes and you had to yell my name?”

“I’m sorry!” He shrugs. “How was I supposed to know-”

“You have _fancy wolf hearing, idiot!”_ I yell, rounding on Embry again. _“_ God.” 

I’m shaking. Paul and Embry steer clear. 

“Dunno what you’re so upset about-” Embry begins. 

“Dude.” Paul yanks his arm and nearly throws him behind us. “Shut up.” 

I snort. 

It’s rich, really--Paul, the temperamental one, telling Embry to be quiet. Defending _my_ temper. But I’m grateful. 

The last two weeks have been hell. They’ve made it better. 

_“You know, if you’d asked me a few weeks ago what my favorite way to spend a Friday was, I would have said...I dunno, reading or something.”_

_“Nobody cares, Amiyah.”_

_“Jeez, here I am trying to be nice-”_

_“That’s enough.”_ Midstep, I freeze. Sam’s voice is strained. Something is wrong. _“Amiyah.”_

“ _Sam? What’s wrong?”_

_“I want you to head to Billy’s place.”_

_“But we just-”_

_“Jacob is showing signs of being close to phasing and if he does I’m going to need you on hand.”_

A soft whisper blows through our link as Jared phases in, but he wisely stays silent. 

Jacob. Finally phasing. 

_“Amiyah-”_ Sam growls in warning, waiting for an answer.

 _“I’m sorry.”_ I’ve never puked in wolf form, but right now I feel like I could, and the sensation...isn’t pleasant. _“I’m going.”_

I don’t want to. I _really_ don’t want to. I’ve avoided Billy’s place at all costs for the last two weeks, mostly because it smells like Jacob and Jacob is sometimes inside it, but it’s been hard. Keeping this a secret has been hard. Especially because Billy knows but Jacob doesn’t.

I’ve lost control more times than I can count just being near the place. And now...

The packs’ voices disappear as I phase back. I get dressed quickly, stand for a second in the blissful silence of the quiet woods. Hearing nothing but birds and the wind in the trees is nice, but then the emotions kick in and I’m hit with the weight of the imprint. Hissing out a pained breath, I grit my teeth and drag myself toward the door. 

“Did Sam send you?” Billy asks after I invite myself inside. 

“Who else?” I snort, helping myself to one of the granola bars left on the counter. “No matter that It’s my night for patrol-”

“If it comes down to it, Sam might need all the help he can get tonight.” Billy murmurs. “Jacob is...struggling.” 

Right. _Focus._ This is _Billy_ I’m talking to. Jacob might be my imprint, but he’s also Billy’s _son._ He’s probably hurting, probably afraid. And he’s...helpless. When it comes down to it, the only ones that can help Jacob are Sam and the rest of the pack. 

And me. 

“Imprinting goes both ways, you know.” Billy says after a few moments. 

I nearly choke on my granola bar. 

“Once Jacob phases, he’ll imprint on you next.”

“I thought...imprinting wasn’t something we knew much about. How can you possibly know it’ll happen to Jacob too?” 

Billy nods. “A good question. To be blunt, I don’t know the answer- I don’t have proof. What I do have...is faith.” 

“Faith.” I swallow the last of my snack and stare at him, arms crossed. “Uh, what?” 

“Destiny is a powerful thing, Amiyah. It draws people together, binds them. I believe it binds you and Jacob- I believe you’ll live a happy life together.”

“‘Happy endings,’ huh?” I scoff. “You’re going soft in your age, old man.” 

He and I lock eyes. There’s no anger in my tone. There’s no joy either, but I’m smiling, and even if it _feels_ fake it seems to do its job. He smiles back. 

“I am sorry Sam sent you all the way out here,” he says. “Jake won’t be back until late.” 

“Back? Wait, is he not on the rez?”

Billy shakes his head. “Did Sam not tell you?” 

I smother the furious growl that rumbles in my chest. “Tell me _what,_ Billy? Where’s Jacob?” 

Billy rolls backward. It’s subtle, not enough to put any real distance between us, but the movement is enough to show his fear. “He’s with Bella.” He whispers it so softly that if it wasn’t for my enhanced hearing I wouldn’t be able to hear it. 

Bella. Bella Swan. The leech-lover, the vampire girl. 

“You have to understand, Amiyah- Jacob is just trying to be a good friend-”

 _He’s mine,_ my instincts snarl, protective rage rising inside me as I grip the counter, struggling to reign in my temper. 

“The Cullens are gone-”

“ _The Cullens,”_ I growl, “are the whole reason any of this is happening. It’s their fault.” 

Billy’s lips are pale as he presses them together. ‘I’m well aware.”

I inhale slowly, deeply, fighting every instinct to stay sane- stay human. “I know. I’m sorry.”

I glance at the clock. 7pm. 

“I only meant to say that I’m sorry Bella’s gotten caught up in it all,” Billy says, “Jacob’s tried to reach her, but she’s sad in a way that I’m not sure he understands.” 

“Does she know about...us?” 

Billy snorts. Strangely, the expression reminds me a lot of Harry. 

“Of course not- why would she? The Cullens are all she knows.”

Ah- a one-sided knowledge base then. Rationally, I could acknowledge that. She didn’t realize she was doing anything wrong--beyond the “hanging out with vampires” thing, that is.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” I mumble, slumping against the counter. “It’s this damned...wolf thing- I’ve had a temper since I was a kid, but now it’s worse.” I smirk. “Still not as bad as Paul though.”

“Few are,” Billy nods, and we share a grin. 

That is, until I freeze. 

“What is it?” Billy asks, noting my expression. 

I listen. I don’t have to concentrate too hard--the sound of Jacob’s motorcycle is quickly washed away by his scent. “Jacob’s here.” 

Billy’s eyes widen. “You need to go,” he says. “If he’s back this early…”

I nod. “I’ll let Sam know.” 

_“Sam!”_

_“Amiyah, I gave you an order-”_

_“Yeah, I know, listen- Jacob’s home.”_

_“Billy said-”_

_“He was wrong. Jacob’s home. Billy thinks something must’ve gone wrong. Sam-” I’m worried about Billy._

_“He’s phased out, Amiyah,”_ Embry says. _“Probably headed your way.”_

Right- if Jacob does phase tonight, he’s gonna need someone to explain things to him in human terms first. 

_“It’s gonna be okay.”_ Embry says. _“Phasing can hurt like hell, but it’s what we were made for. He’ll get through.”_

 _“Speak for yourself,”_ Paul grumbles. _“When I phased-”_

 _“At least you had actual help,”_ Jared butts in. _“Amiyah- did Sam actually tell you what was going on before you phased?”_

I walk to the treeline, turn and lay down with my head resting on my front paws, staring at the Blacks’ house. Sam breaches the trees from a few houses down. He jogs over, walks in. I’m too far away to hear anything. I wish I was closer. 

_“Hello? You there, Amiyah?”_

_“No.”_

Embry snickers. _“Man, if this is what imprinting’s like, I don’t want it.”_

 _“Dude! Not cool,”_ Jared snarls, his growl echoing down the link. _“We’re supposed to be distracting her, not-”_ He stops. Sighs. 

_“Sorry,”_ Paul says. 

_“Don’t worry about it.”_

_“Back to my question- did Sam actually explain things to you or did he just piss you off until you phased?”_ Jared asks. 

_“Uh…_ ” I bristle. The memory isn’t exactly a good one. And if I think about it, the pack’ll know- _damn telepathy._

“You...you’re broke.” Embry murmurs. “How do you pay for bills ‘n shit?”

 _“The Clearwaters pay for almost everything,”_ I say, growling as I remember the frenzied conversations that had come before and after the agreement. _“I was supposed to get a job and pay for my own food, and I couldn’t even do that.”_

_“You’re...what, seventeen? Not exactly an adult. Couldn’t you have just asked them to-”_

_“Doing something for myself was the whole point, Jared.”_

_“Oh.”_ He’s silent for a moment. _“If it helps, I won’t tell anyone.”_

_“Are you kidding? She’s not buying the food she needs and you’re just gonna stay quiet? That’s ridiculous, man, tell me you get that.”_

_“Embry-”_

_“Come on!”_

They must be together. The snarling growls that ripple through our link could only mean they’re together, wrestling, fighting just for the heck of it. 

_“Don’t you two have anything better to do?”_ I snap after several long (loud) minutes of putting up with their chaos. 

_“You know we don’t.”_

I do. But the fact that I do doesn’t ease my irritation whatsoever. It only gets worse as I watch the shadows of Sam and Jacob dance around the interior of Billy’s house. Their voices are getting louder. 

_“Any update on-”_

Sam throws Jacob outside. 

_Throws him._ Like Jacob’s tall, burly body weighs absolutely nothing. He chucks Jacob on the grass and phases just as Jacob’s whole body explodes, red-brown fur puffing out all over his body in long, fluffy waves. 

_“--do you want with me, Sam?”_ Jacob’s snarling, his wolf lowering itself into a fighting stance. _“You’ve been-”_ He stops. Straightens. Whines, his ears going flat against his head as he looks around, Sam’s wolf a powerful figure at the forefront of his mind. For one singular, perfect moment, he’s rational- human. 

And then he’s gone. 

The rest of the pack hisses, surprised as he lurches forward, his paws tearing into the soft dirt as he runs off. He leaves deep ruts in the ground in his wake, and charges through the trees without a single coherent thought. For a second, I think he’s going to go all the way- run to the other side of the territory without stopping. 

But then he sees me. 

And where the warmth of the imprint should be, suddenly all I feel is cold. Ice prickles through my paws, stings through every muscle in my leg and torso until I can feel it all the way down my spine. _Danger,_ my instincts whisper. _Fight._

Jacob’s wolf is...huge. There’s no trace of his human self in his gold-brown eyes. He snarls, lip curling over his sharp white teeth, and coils, tenses low to the ground as he readies to attack. 

_“Sam-”_

He doesn’t answer. He’s just standing there, unmoving, watching me as I struggle to stay still under Jacob’s intense gaze. 

_“Sam,”_ I snarl, putting all of my anger into the words, _“if this is another one of your tests-”_

Jacob jumps. He flies toward me with a snarl that sounds more like a roar, the challenge in it one I can’t ignore. I jump too, using my full weight to shove into his side, tackling him to the ground. 

_“Amiyah!”_ Jared and Embry. They run in full force, both of them growling as they circle us. 

_“You okay?”_ Jared asks me. Truth be told, I’m not coherent enough to really respond. _“Sam, what the hell?”_

He’s testing me. Testing to see if the imprint will interfere with my ability to fight back. At least, that’s what I _hope_ he’s doing, because if that’s not what this is, then Jacob won’t be the only one I fight tonight. 

Sam audibly sneers. _“You’d never be able to hurt me.”_

_“No, but I’d sure as hell try.”_

_“What’s the plan, Sam?”_ Jared’s practically dancing on all fours as he struggles to keep Jacob from bolting again. _“He won’t stay like this for long.”_

 _“He’s in there somewhere.”_ Sam says. _“We’ll just have to wait.”_

It’s like babysitting, in a way. 

_“Puppy-sitting,”_ Embry quips. He’s one of the last of us still phased--it’s just him, me, and Sam now, with Jacob still wandering wildly around the forest, well away from civilization.

We’ve got a perimeter set up by now. It spans a few miles between the three of us. Three hours and we still haven’t heard a human word from Jacob. 

_“I didn’t realize this could happen- losing yourself like this, I mean.”_ I say. The link is sort of silent aside from Sam and Embry’s infrequent grunts as they come into contact with a very-pissed Jacob-wolf. 

Embry’s grimace is a copper wave that floods my brain, bright and fear-tinged. _“It happened to me.”_

 _“Everyone comes back.”_ Sam says. _“We just-”_

Jacob growls again. There’s a thud. Embry’s pained whine echoes through the forest, stopping all of us in our tracks. 

_“We can’t do this anymore,”_ I half-snarl into the link, freezing as Jacob doubles back, away from Embry and toward me. _“Sam-”_

_“Phase back.”_

_“What?!”_

_“Phase back!”_ He yells, slamming into Jacob’s side so hard that Jacob howls. _“Your presence here is doing nothing to help Jacob.”_

_“I’m freaking trying!”_

_“You’re only getting hurt!”_ Sam’s a shadow--he prowls through the trees, growling, snapping his teeth as he prepares to lunge at Jacob again. _“This is hurting you. I can feel it. We can all feel it._ **_Go home._ ** **”**

The alpha command washes over me like a wave, cold and clear as it crystalizes around my insides, freezing deep into my skin. 

I can’t move. 

_“Damn it, Amiyah,”_ Embry whispers. 

I can’t move. I can’t fight it. 

_“Just go,”_ says Embry, _“there’s no point in trying to fight back. You can’t. The alpha’s orders must be obeyed.”_

 _“I...know…”_ I grunt out, a howl of my own tearing through my chest as I’m involuntarily propelled backward, the order churning through my brain. The woods. The treeline. The moon shining overhead. My brain takes in the various, random details as I phase back, sprint like a demon toward my house and duck inside the window. 

I get dressed. Slump against my bed, pressure building in my chest until it breaks out in a sob because I can still _feel it,_ the crazed animal clouding Jacob’s mind, the fever he’s ignoring, the confused ache in his soul, throbbing, my own heart calling out but getting no response. 

I’m alone. 

I wish I could just-

“Amiyah!” 

A hand taps against my window. I jump up, whirling around, a snarl curling my lips as I settle into a readied stance, torn between phasing or punching the life out of whoever’s dumb enough to sneak up on me. 

“Embry Call,” I growl as soon as I see him, “you’re dead meat.” 

He winces, then sheepishly holds a brown paper bag. “I brought snacks?” 

“If you honestly think I’m going to let you into my house because you’re carrying food, you’re-” _you have another thing coming,_ I start to say, but then my stomach--rather loudly--reminds me that I haven’t eaten all day except for the granola bar I had at Billy’s, and my nose politely lets me know that the lovely objects in that little bag are in fact Emily’s blueberry muffins. My favorite. 

_Dammit-_ “I hate you,” I mumble, rolling the window back up. “Please come inside.”

He grins. “Yes ma’am!” 

“Embry,” I say around a mouthful of muffin, “why are you here?” 

He blinks at me. “I...brought food?”

“No, I mean- why are you _here?_ I know you haven’t showered. You came right after phasing back, didn’t you?” I lean back, glass of milk in hand, and glare at him. “What aren’t you telling me?” 

“I just...thought you might not want to be alone tonight is all. Not in a weird way!” He panics, his hands sliding across the table as he goes to run a hand through his hair, his eyes going wide. “I just...thought having another person in the house might help you sleep. You know, since you’re alone all the time.”

 _Yeah, thanks for reminding me._ “Thanks, Embry.” I murmur. It’s sweet, but a little weird to think that someone I’m just starting to know can know me so deeply. “But dude, you’d better shower before you get on my couch. You smell like-”

“Understood,” he says, flashing a wily grin at me as he stands. “You sure you don’t mind?” 

I grin right back. “Hell no. Long as you clean up after yourself, kiddo.”

“I’m not a kid,” he mutters. “You’re not that much older than me.” His expression wrenches my heart in two. 

I’ve gone all day without remembering the incident this morning with Seth, but now the expression on his face when I ran off fills my head and makes me restless. I stand up, walk to the window, scowl. If I listen close enough, I can still hear howling. 

My heart hurts. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Embry asks. 

_Shit,_ and here I am making him feel bad when we went and brought me muffins. “‘Course not. You just reminded me of someone for a sec, that’s all.”

Satisfied, he nods and jumps up from his chair, leaving the bag of muffins on the table. The shower turns on a moment later. 

_He’s right._ I roll the top of the bag over onto itself and place it on the counter. _I’m always alone. When I’m not with the pack...I’m not myself. I’m missing pieces._ I never, _ever_ would have hung out with guys like Paul and Embry a few weeks ago. Now, I can’t imagine life without them. 

Jacob, on the other hand…

_That’s a thought for another day._ I head down the hall, past the bathroom, and go into my bedroom. Embry was right--just him being here makes me feel calmer. I’d thank him, but I’m not sure where to start, and I’m not sure I could get through it without crying. I’m not sure he cares. He-

Another howl sounds outside, closer than the first and full of mourning. It’s Jacob. JacobJacobJacob--

 _Shit!_ I roll onto my bed, holding my breath to slow my racing heart, and pull the blankets up and around my eyes. The imprint calls, but Sam’s alpha order’s still in my brain, holding me onto the mattress, keeping me at home. 

I fall asleep crying again. 

I wake to a tap at the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! <3


	6. Imprint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jacob imprints and things get very out of hand.

Imprinting, Sam knows, is not a one way road. It goes both ways. Sure it’s stronger for the wolf- instincts are powerful things, things that sweep in and wash away the human beneath, things that overwhelm and cause...pain. Sam knows that too. He trusts his instincts anyway. 

Amiyah is...different. She fights her instincts, questions them constantly. He can see it every time he looks into her eyes- see the pain she feels at even the thought of trusting him or anyone else. And he can see that imprinting terrifies her. 

Embry and Jared are good for that, he thinks. They’ve grown close to her quickly, in a way he couldn’t have predicted. And he’s grateful- gaining a few new brothers may have been something that was somewhat forced on Amiyah, but she’s taking it fairly well, all things considered. And...he’s proud. 

Amiyah and  _ Paul  _ are a different story. 

He’d never spent much time with Amiyah before she’d phased, so he’s not exactly sure when her temper was triggered, but it’s fierce, quick. That’s dangerous, especially for people like them, but he can handle it. The pack is...balanced. 

Jacob is a wild card. 

“He’s been asleep for almost a full day now,” Billy says, half chuckling as he casts a backward glance in the direction of Jacob’s closed bedroom door. “Phasing took everything out of him.” 

Sam nods. “It did.” 

Fear flickers through Billy’s eyes. “Three days, Sam.  _ Three days. _ ” 

“It took me longer.” And really, Jacob’s phasing has brought back a lot of memories--ugly ones--for Sam. “And this time, he had help.” 

“Not the help you wanted him to have, from what I understand.” 

Sam winces. “Imprinting isn’t...something we know a lot about. I thought having Amiyah there would help. But Jacob didn’t recognize her, or Embry. So I sent them home.” 

“I’m sure Amiyah didn’t appreciate that.” Billy snorts.

“She didn’t.” Not that it matters. He’d managed Jacob just fine on his own, in the end. 

“What are you going to do when Jacob wakes up?” Billy asks. “He’s going to have to see her eventually.” 

“I have no intention of trying to keep them apart.” He’s already tried, somewhat. He can almost feel Amiyah fighting his order as they’re talking. She’s strong, and feisty, and the imprint of the future alpha. Surely that must mean something. 

He files that in his head for later. He has to go. Emily and the pack are waiting-

“When he wakes up,” Billy says before Sam can get up, “he isn’t going to be happy.”

“I know.” Sam stands. Sighs. Glances back down at Billy. “Amiyah won’t be either.” 

Because imprinting isn’t just a two-way road, it’s a messy one, and they don’t have the time to deal with the aftereffects.    
Something is coming. And they’re going to need the strength of the whole pack- imprints and all. 

~

Three days ago I gained two new houseguests. 

Embry and Jared are...quiet, for the most part. And they bring in food, which is nice. They turn the TV off at night, they don’t talk (much) while I’m trying to sleep. Neither of them phases indoors. They’re just...here. I don’t know  _ why  _ they’re here, but they are. And they don’t leave until we get word that Jacob’s phased back. 

Sam leaves us with the news and Embry and Jared just...stare at me. Blankly, like they’re waiting on me to say something but I  _ can’t,  _ because even though the imprint is solid and warm in my chest, begging for love, begging for a  _ connection,  _ I can’t do it. It feels wrong. 

Embry leaves. He has patrol. Jared stays. 

“You don’t mind me staying another night, do you?” He asks, leaning against the couch. 

“‘Course not,” I say as I sit down beside him. There’s a bowl of popcorn between us, a gift from Embry’s house. “Jared, can I ask you something?” 

He nods. For a second, the only sounds in the room are the AC humming overhead and the popcorn crunching between his teeth. 

“Why are you here?”

He chokes. 

“You- you and Embry both.” I look at the ceiling, trying to put my feelings into words. 

“Look, Amiyah, you can’t hide things from us anymore.” Jared says. “We can literally see into your head. So when Embry mentioned he was at your place to...I dunno, help you not feel as alone, I couldn’t just not do the same.”

I snort. Whatever I was about to say leaves my mouth and disintegrates into pure, unfiltered shock- the kind that sizzles down my spine and leaves in tears that trickle down my cheeks. 

“I- shit, Amiyah, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Jared mumbles, scooting away from me. 

I scrub the wetness from my face and snort again. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry for being such a wuss.” 

“Having feelings sucks.” 

“Having feelings does indeed suck, yes.”

Silence. I grab a handful of popcorn and grab the pieces that fall onto the carpet. Popcorn is a deadly dance between dehydration and trying not to choke. I’ll never forget the one time-

Jared tenses. 

“Hm?”

He’s staring right at me. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” It’s another lie. 

“You went all still, like...like you were about to phase.”

“I’m not planning on phasing tonight.” Not with Sam out there. 

Another bout of silence. 

“Hey, what’s imprinting like?” 

Now it’s my turn to choke. “Jared-”

“I’m sorry!” He flails, and his cheeks are slightly pink as he hangs he stares up at the ceiling, his lips pressed tight together. “It’s just...I keep seeing it in Sam’s head, and...in yours, I guess, and it feels...wrong and right at the same time, and-” 

“Imprinting is warm, but it’s not perfect, Jared. It hurts. A lot. But I think Jacob and I are different- he’ll imprint too.” 

“You think it’s stronger?” 

“Maybe. Find out tomorrow.” It comes out so easily, like the thought of seeing Jacob after everything doesn’t absolutely terrify me. “I’m gonna head to bed,” I say, standing up with a groan. 

“Goodnight.” 

I leave Jared with the popcorn. He’s still munching on it, silent, contemplating, as I head down the hall. 

One time when I was fifteen, I choked on popcorn and Seth started crying because he thought I was  _ dying-  _ I was gasping for air and when I could finally breathe again, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was his fault I’d choked in the first place, he was the one who’d made me laugh. 

I miss him. 

The imprint comes to me in my dreams. 

It’s cold. 

“Jacob’s up at Emily’s.” 

I’m up and halfway out the door before I’m awake. 

Jared laughs behind me, laughs louder and harder when I realize the state of my hair, see the wrinkles in my messed-up clothes. “Don’t think imprinting really cares about the way you look-”

“Maybe not but I do,” I hiss, wincing as I swiftly yank out the tangles. “Cutting it short was supposed to make it more manageable, dammit-”

“In wolf form.” Jared says, still laughing. 

I throw a towel at his face. 

“Keys.” They’re not on the table, not on the couch, not even beneath the cushions- “keys keys keys-”

A jingling sound from my bedroom. Jared walks out with the silver truck key dangling from the red thread Sue attached it to when I got it. “You do realize there are faster ways to get to Emily’s,” he says, gesturing toward the backyard. 

“I made it the first sixteen years of my life without relying on my magical wolf powers for everything, Jared,” I snap. “I can make it one car ride.” 

Emily’s house. I sit in the car for a few seconds after pulling up, my heart stuttering in my chest. Details- the shed where Emily keeps extra clothes for us, the side yard where Sam’s truck is always parked; the front yard always has paw prints and tire tracks, and it’s mostly mud instead of grass now, with all the rain and all the running we do. 

Jared watches me as I sit, staring at the house, at the yard. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then he opens the passenger side door--the sound so loud I jump, he doesn’t react to that either--and gets out. “They’ll have heard us coming, you know.” 

“I know,” I whisper, hand still gripping the steering wheel. “I just…” 

“You gotta let it happen, Amiyah.” 

I scowl. “I know that too.” 

He ducks back into the car, tugs at my arm. “C’mon.” 

I stare at him. He stares back. I pull away. He doesn’t let go. 

I...get the feeling he’d drag me through the passenger side if he had to. 

I get out of the car. 

I walk up to the door. 

I open the door and--

\--immediately bump into Jacob.

This is how it happens: 

Jacob rams into me and I immediately realize that he’s taller than I am. Mostly because the first thing I run into his collarbone, which is hard and, you know,  _ bony.  _

I look up--his gaze drifts to the tattoo on my arm, then to my face, and then he just  _ stops,  _ goes still, and the whole world tilts and turns bright and goes all shiny for a moment, because he imprints and it’s like I’m complete for the first time in  _ two weeks.  _

“U-um,” he stutters, steps aside, blinks once, twice. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I try for a smile, because my brain is blank and the imprint is singing and his eyes are- “Good to finally be on two legs again?” 

I expect him to say...I don’t even know what, but all he does is stand there, his mouth opened slightly and his gaze fixed on me. “Jac...ob…” I whisper, very much discomforted by being in such close proximity to his...very bare chest. “You’re in front of the door.” 

He blinks. “I am?” 

“Yes, Jacob, the door is very small and you...are not.” 

“Right.”

“What she means is, imprint or not you’re between her and the food, man.” Embry says, and I send him a silent grin in response. “Dude. Jake. Move.”

_ Imprint.  _ The world sizzles between us, hot and glistening red at the forefront of Jacob’s mind. I can feel it. His anger burns in my chest as powerfully as if it were my own. 

“Imprinting,” he whispers, looking over my head to where Sam stands in the kitchen, by the counter, in front of Emily. “Is that what this is?” 

“You’re my imprint,” I whisper back. I try to smile but I’m shaking. “And I’m yours.” 

“No.” He pulls away from me. “No no no no no- this isn’t- this isn’t what was supposed to- I didn’t-” 

“It’s okay, Jacob.” I put my hand on his arm. “We can figure this out. This doesn’t have to mean anything now, we can-”

“You don’t understand!” A tremor runs through his entire body, and I feel myself tense. “This isn’t what I wanted. I don’t want  _ you,  _ I want-”

I hear Sam shout, but I don’t hear what he says. Jacob and I are both trembling. 

_ He doesn’t want me.  _

_ He doesn’t have a choice-  _ we  _ don’t have a choice. This is about us.  _

“Amiyah.” Sam shoves past me. “Amiyah, you and Jacob need to get outside now-”

Jacob’s breathing hard, gasping for air as he struggles to straighten his shoulders, struggles to keep his anger at bay. And I am too, but-

“Embry, Jared, protect Emily. Amiyah-” 

“Stay out of this, Sam.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, the smart part of me recognizes that giving the alpha of the pack an order is a terrible idea, but I don’t care. “You are a stuck up, self-centered, arrogant  _ pain in the ass, _ ” I snarl, poking Jacob’s chest--shoving him until he backs off the porch and onto the grass. “This isn’t something you can just ignore, you jerk- it’s real. And it’s  _ broken  _ me for the last two weeks while I waited for you to phase!”

“I don’t  _ care, _ ” he growls. “I don’t want any of this!”

“It’s not! your! choice!” The words tear out of my throat. The next breath hurts. Jacob is standing over me, towering above me with fury in his eyes and his face twisted into a stubbornly vengeful expression. 

My vision sharpens. The world turns dark and lined with red. 

I shove my hands against Jacob’s chest, my full weight sending him flying into the air. 

He’s phased before he hits the ground. I’ve barely enough time to  _ think  _ before instinct kicks in and I break into a run, another scream tearing through me as I phase too. 

Fighting in wolf form--real, actual fighting instead of the make-do play stuff we do in sparring--is choppy, dangerous, and  _ fast.  _ It’s snarls and growling, claws and swiping at empty air as you try to maneuver your massive body into the position to land a hit on your opponent. 

_ Walking  _ in wolf form took me a few hours to get the hang of. Fighting took me  _ days.  _

It takes Jacob seconds. 

He’s a wild flurry of movement, muscles coiling, springing, clenching together as he bounds in my direction, guided by blind fury. I rip away from him as we collide, his jaws inches from my left front leg, growl as he rolls on top of me. I use my momentum to shove him away but it’s no use- he’s back again in moments, still furious, still quiet. Our link is silent. 

And then Sam phases in. 

_ “Jacob, Amiyah-” _

_ “Stay out of this!”  _ Jacob and I shout as one. 

We move out of Sam’s backyard and into the trees, both of us huffing, growling as we weave and duck to avoid slamming into the trees. I wind around the tallest trunks, slip between the fallen ones. Jacob jumps overhead, the full force of him shaking the ground when he lands. 

Right around the moment that I start wondering if I’m really...experienced enough at fighting to be picking fights I can’t win, Jacob’s teeth sink into my shoulder. 

We pull backward, the both of us crying out as we fall away, still for the first time in I don’t even know how long. It’s--it hurts. I can feel the blood pooling beneath my sweaty, matted down fur. The wounds’ like pure acid, radiating pain all the way down my spine as I stagger backward, slumping onto the grass. 

Jacob’s won. I’m not sure where this leaves me. But I do know one thing- I have to get back to Emily’s, get this...whatever this is cleaned up, because I’m supposed to have magical speed-healing and it doesn’t feel like anything’s changing, at the moment. 

_ “Jacob-” _

_ “Just...don’t,”  _ he snaps with a growl. He bounds off into the trees, still huffing, still pissed. 

_ “I didn’t do anything wrong, Jacob.”  _

He snarls.  _ “Didn’t I say drop it?” _

_ “Don’t you realize I can’t?”  _

“Amiyah!” Sam’s voice bounces off the trees. I howl, and he comes around the corner a few moments later, his eyes widening when he sees me on the ground. “Can you get up?” 

I do, careful to keep my injured leg and off the ground. 

“Phase back.” He tosses a pile of clothes in my direction. “Amiyah-” he turns around. “I should have expected this.” 

“He ran off into the trees,” I mumble, hissing as I struggle to put my shirt on without moving my arm too much. “He can’t actually reject the imprint, can he?” 

Sam shakes his head, growls softly. “He can try.” 

“Try.” I move to his side, clamp one my other hand over my shoulder. The scent of blood--my blood--is thick in the air. “This isn’t going to end well.”

“For either of you.” Sam nods. Then he actually looks at me, and his jaw tightens when his gaze falls to my hand. “He did this?” 

“He was hurt too.” I’d felt it, the moment he’d bit me, but he’d hid it, and then he’d ran off. “I don’t know where he went.” 

“Don’t worry about him.” Sam growls again. He puts his hand on my shoulder, guides me toward the direction of Emily’s house. “I’ll deal with him later.” 

“I’m ruining his life,” I murmur, fighting against his grip. “He didn’t ask for this and I didn’t either, I just wish it would go away.” 

He tenses, but when I look up he’s nodding, his gaze distant. “Imprinting isn’t supposed to be like this.” His voice is soft, far away. “It’s...supposed to be…”

“Whatever it’s supposed to be, I’m stuck with it and so’s Jacob, so we need to figure it out.” I interrupt him. “I didn’t come into this looking for my soulmate, and I don’t expect to find one here.” Because all I know is, I am never,  _ ever  _ ending up with Jacob, no matter what the freaking Quilleute magic says. 

“We need to get you inside.” Sam says. I nod, but I don’t move. My whole body is practically leaning on him for support. I’m lightheaded. Sam takes one look at me and picks me back up again without another word. 

Consciousness eludes me. I hear Jared and Embry scramble to stand up as Sam heads inside Emily’s, but he shushes their murmurings as he sets me down on the couch. I wish I could just black out properly- my shoulder hurts too much, the pain burning beneath my skin. 

“It’s already healing,” Emily notes as she bends down to look at it. Her hand is  _ freezing  _ as she sweeps it over my face, twists my tangled hair out of my eyes. “Sam-”

“I know.” His eyes are narrow. “It’s leaving a scar.” 

“Huh?” I choke on the word, my head whipping up to glare at my shoulder, but Emily shushes me, gently presses me back onto the couch. “Sam, what-”

“It doesn’t normally leave scars,” Sam says, “this time…” 

“Dude.” Embry’s expression is one of absolute awe as he grins at me. “That looks  _ wicked. _ ”

“There’s a time and a place, Embry,” Emily sighs. “Amiyah, how’s the pain?” 

“‘t f’kin hurts,” I mumble, staring blearily at the ceiling. Exhaustion pulls at my eyelids, separates my lips in a yawn that burns in my chest. “Em...I’m...tired…” 

“Sleep is the best thing for her,’ Sam decides. He stands up, cradles one arm around Emily’s shoulders with a shaky breath. “I’m going to see Billy. Jared, with me- Embry, stay and keep Jacob out of here. I don’t want him near Amiyah right now.” 

Embry blinks. “Is that even possible? With…” 

“Won’t be a problem, Em.” I shut my eyes, exhale. “Thanks…” 

The lights flick off. Sam shuts the door quietly. I can hear Embry and Emily murmuring in the corner, but everything else fades away, and sleep...sleep finally comes. 

I dream of the forest. I dream of howling. I dream of the pack- the pack before Jacob, before I’d imprinted, when everything was easier and I was….

Happy. 

~

The moment he sees Jacob, Sam struggles to control his anger. His wolf rages within, an alpha furious at the sheer incompetence of one of his own. 

He strides past Jacob, aiming for Billy instead, and opens his mouth to speak--before Jacob settles behind him and he sees it. A scar, a silver ring around the front of Jacob’s shoulder, one perfectly matching Amiyah’s wound. 

“Jacob, what happened?” He slips past Billy’s chair and the couch. “That scar-”

Jacob flinches, guilt flickering across his face before he regains control, morphs his features into a cool, collected expression instead. “You saw it, Sam. We had a fight. Things got out of hand.” 

“Out of hand.” Sam swallows the growl that rumbles in his throat and recoils, fighting the instinct to phase at the sheer- “Your imprint was wounded at  _ your hands  _ and that’s all you can say? It ‘got out of hand’?”

“I don’t care if she’s my imprint-”

“Jacob!” Billy exclaims. 

“-she’s in the  _ way,”  _ Jacob snarls. “Between me and Bella.” 

It comes quickly- the instinct, the need to  _ punch something  _ is one that Sam knows well, and he’s had plenty of practice controlling his temper but Jacob Black threatens to blow all of his control by just  _ standing here,  _ nonchalant. 

“Imprinting isn’t just about you,” he snarls into Jacob’s face. “The sooner you learn that, the sooner the whole pack will benefit, and until you understand that, you can tell  _ Bella  _ that you won’t be seeing her for a long, long time.” 

Because Bella isn’t his imprint,  _ Amiyah  _ is, and somewhere inside Jacob lies the instinct to protect that. Sam knows that the imprint will win, regardless of what Jacob  _ wants.  _

This is bigger than Jacob. This involves the whole pack, and Sam  _ will not  _ stand by and watch Jacob rip everything apart for the sake of his own heart. It’s the only way. He’ll do whatever it takes. Jacob will see the truth eventually.

He’ll have to. 


	7. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jared, Embry, and Amiyah have a night out. They last an hour.

March comes, bringing with it--you guessed it--more rain. 

Cold rain. The heavy kind that falls down in sheets of gray, the drops inseparable as they soak through everything--leaves, bushes, and fur--making everything smell damp. The smell is thick in my nose as I plow through the forest, but not so thick that the smell I’m tracking disappears. Vampire scent is a thing that sticks with you. I haven’t decided if that’s because of my own instincts or if it’s because it’s just that nasty, but it stays in my brain all the same. 

And right now, this part of the forest is thick with it. 

_ “I can’t believe we missed this,” _ Embry growls in my head. We run side by side, our flanks nearly touching as we scramble to avoid slipping down the mud-ridden slope.  _ “The scent is right here-”  _

_ “Em, I’m trying to focus,”  _ I snarl back.  _ “The leech couldn’t have gotten far. His scent is just beyond this ridge-” _

_ “That’s the Cullens’ territory,”  _ Jared murmurs. 

I growl, paws clawing at the wet rocks gathered along the ridge.  _ “The Cullens are gone.”  _

_ “The treaty still stands,”  _ Sam says,  _ “and the Cullens are never really gone.”  _

A series of low growls rumble through the link. The tension across our bond is palpable; Sam’s sent his best trackers out, split us off into pairs, but  _ some of us  _ are still angrier than others-

_ “Focus, Amiyah,”  _ Embry nudges me.  _ “Where’s the scent?”  _

_ “Gone.”  _ I stare past the ridge, towards the Cullens’ territory.  _ “I can smell it past there but there’s no point.”  _

_ “No point!”  _ Paul shouts.  _ “A leech this close to our land-” _

_ “What do you want me to do?”  _ I shout back.  _ “It’s their territory, Paul-”  _

_ “That’s enough!”  _ Sam’s voice strains against my focus.  _ “We have to keep vigilant. We’ll keep patrolling. We will protect our land.”  _

_ “Damn right,”  _ Paul sneers.  _ “If that leech comes back-” _

_ “We’ll kill him,”  _ Embry finishes, his excitement at the prospect far too powerful and far too clear. 

_ “Patrols tonight will be Paul, Jared, and Embry,”  _ Sam says.  _ “Amiyah. Come with me.”  _

A brief flicker of his location crosses my mind and I break away from Embry, my paws spitting mud and water into the air as I run through puddle after puddle.  _ “Sam, what-” _

_ “In person, Amiyah,”  _ he answers. 

The reservation is a huge, massive thing. It takes time to cross, time to get back to Sam, to Emily’s. The distance sucks. But it gives me time to think. 

I’ve gotten...better at thinking, at keeping my thoughts to myself. It’s hard--the pack-mind is so open that instinct says to throw everything into it, but some thoughts are better kept quiet.  _ That’s... _ something I know from personal experience. Every time I see  _ that  _ day, the day Sam imprinted on Emily-

I make it to the house in record time. 

Sam’s waiting for me. I get dressed, then walk across the grass. He gives me a look; I go still. Jacob’s scent is all over the yard. 

“Is he here?”

“He just left.” Sam’s lips press together. “Amiyah, I know it’s been hard-”

“ _ Don’t  _ act like you understand-”

“But I do.” He stares straight at me, his voice even. “I need to know your loyalty is with me, Amiyah.” 

I snort. “Where else am I gonna go?” 

“This isn’t a joke.”

“You’re right, it isn’t.” Sam sighs. “Jacob being here changes things in the pack.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” 

“He’s the rightful alpha- it makes sense that he should take my place as leader of the pack.” 

I tense. The idea...the idea is a disturbing one. On the one hand, I know it’s the right thing and so does my wolf. On the other...neither me or my wolf are too happy with Jacob right now, and the idea of taking orders from him instead of Sam is...not my favorite. 

“I offered him a choice. He refused.” Sam grimaces, very nearly rolls his eyes as he heads past me and toward the house. “ _ One  _ of you needs to know how to lead.”

“I don’t know what you’re asking of me, Sam.”

“Take Jared’s place as beta.” 

“You want  _ me  _ to help you lead the- Sam, what about Jared?” 

“It isn’t his place to question my decisions.”  _ It isn’t yours either,  _ is the unspoken thought. He turns toward me again as he reaches the front steps. “Well?”

My perspective is split.  _ I can’t trust myself.  _ The imprint says leave it to Jacob. Logic says- 

“You want me as your beta? Fine.” There’s something right about the words, and the way Sam  _ almost  _ smiles is enough to put my mind at ease. “I’ll always have your back,” I murmur softly.  _ Especially because Jacob won’t.  _

_ ~ _

_ One Day Later _

“This is ridiculous,” Jared mumbles, “I used to go out places. See movies. Hang out with friends.” 

Embry and I lock eyes at the same time. 

“Wait, you have friends?” I grin. 

“Besides us?” Embry pouts. “Traitor!” 

Jared laughs. He stands up, leftover apple core in his hand, and walks into the kitchen. “It’s not even 6 yet,” he calls out, “we could head into Forks, see a movie.” 

“You don’t have a car, Jared.” 

He snorts. The apple core  _ dings!  _ into the kitchen trash can. “You do,” he says, leaning against the wall. The lights catch the ends of his hair, during them a brassy, coppery tone. “C’mon, Amiyah, let’s go have some fun.” 

“Right, because our lives are so  _ boring. _ ” I shoot back. 

“No offense to Sam, but hunting down vampires isn’t exactly my idea of good time,” Embry stands up, offers me his hand. I take it, but I make sure to put all my weight forward as I stand, nearly pulling him over. 

“I feel you.” I nod.  _ Keys- where did I put my keys?  _

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to kill a few leeches if we get the chance…” he trails off, then shrugs. “Anyway. We leaving?” 

Jared looks at me, his expression pleading. 

“Fine,” I say with a dramatic sigh, much to the boys’ amusement. “Just as soon as I find my keys-”

“Here.” Jared flips them toward me. I catch them easily--something I couldn’t do before, my lack of coordination was Seth used to laugh at me for  _ constantly-- _ then cross the room toward the front door. 

“Amiyah-” Embry begins. 

I freeze. On the other side of the door-

“I’m lookin for Embry,” Jacob’s deep voice resonates through the door. “He around?” 

“ _ Dude,”  _ Jared hisses with a furious glare toward Embry. “You gonna flake on us or what?”

“What? No!” Embry’s gaze darts between me, Jared, and the door. “But…” 

_ “Dude,”  _ Jared says again, an edge to his voice. “You’re not going with him.”

“But he’s-” Embry blinks. He grimaces. “He could...come with us?” 

Jared growls. “ _ Him?  _ Amiyah’s  _ imprint?  _ The one currently treating her like a piece of-”

“You know what Jared? I can speak for myself,” I snap, silencing him. “This is-”  _ Damn it.  _ I open the door. “You want Embry? Take him.” 

Jacob stares at me. “So-”

“I’m staying with them,” Embry mutters. He walks past me, shoves past Jacob with a growl. “Amiyah, Jared, you coming?” 

“Yeah.” I twirl my keys around my finger, follow Jared as we walk past Jacob. Then I stop. “Jacob-”

“What,” he asks, voice low. 

I face him so that we’re parallel to each other. “That mark on your shoulder,” I murmur, staring at his shoulder. “It’s- when you bit me, you got hurt too?” 

“It’s not the same,” he frowns, craning his neck to glare at his scar. “It’s-” he stops, stares at my shoulder. “Oh.” 

“Yeah,  _ oh. _ ” It’s so insane that I stare at him for a couple of seconds, my mind blank, unable to really comprehend what’s going on. “Screw this,” I mumble, reaching past Jacob to lock the front door. “Bye Jacob.” 

“Bye,” he mumbles. 

_ I can’t figure him out.  _

“He’s just letting us go?” I hop into the car, crank it, and pull out of the driveway. Then I glance back at Embry. “I swear to god, if I wasn’t the only one in this car who had a license-”

“Panic attack later, drive now.” Embry mumbles. 

Jared glares at him in the rearview. “Dude.” 

“What?” Embry snarls, lurching forward. “He’s my friend too.”

“Can we maybe not talk about anything wolf related while we’re gone?” I grimace. “Phasing in the middle of Forks is  _ not  _ my idea of a good time.”

Forks is a dreary mess. It’s raining when we get there--big surprise--and the theater is crowded. Jared, Embry and I share a private grin when we walk past a group of girls by the concession stand. All of them stare at Jared and Embry.

“Maybe we don’t need to imprint, man,” Jared jabs Embry’s shoulder. “We just gotta smile in their direction-”

“And they’ll run off. Excellent plan.” Embry grins back. “Cmon. Movie’s starting.” 

“How long do you think it’ll be before Sam notices we’re gone?” I ask.

Jared shrugs. “Honestly? I don’t think he will.”

The movie is one I’ve seen before, your typical stuff--burly dudes with guns bigger than their forearms, lots of shooting and blood, lots of damsels in distress and heroic feats. 

“I could do that,” Jared whispers, his mouth full of popcorn. 

“He just jumped up a 20-foot ledge, Jared.” I whisper back. “Using nothing but his  _ bare hands.”  _

“Your point is?”

My phone buzzes. 

Embry and Jared both jump up with me as I stand. There’s only one person who’d be calling me right now, 

“Sam.” I jump over the banister and land on the floor before gliding smoothly out the door. “Listen-”

“I don’t know where you are right now but we need you three here.  _ Now. _ ” Sam growls the last word. I look at Embry and Jared, motion toward the door. 

_ Vampire.  _ It’s the only thing he’d call us back for. 

Sam hangs up the phone. 

“We’ll get there faster if we phase,” Embry says as we near my car. “No offense to this piece of-”

I give him a look. “I can’t just leave it here, Em.” 

“Get someone to tow it back to the rez for you.” Jared says. His gaze dances anxiously in the direction of the road, and La Push. “We need to go. We’ve already been gone too long.” 

“No, we had time.” I unlock my truck to throw my phone inside, then slam it shut. “Crap, the key!”

“Leave it unlocked then.”

“What if someone steals my phone?” 

“Amiyah, if someone looks in  _ this piece of junk  _ and steals your phone, then I will personally buy you another one,” Jared groans. “Right now, we need to go.” 

Embry snickers. “Buy one with what money?”

“Shut it,” Jared threatens. “This is serious.” 

“Going broke is serious.” Embry’s expression is absolutely priceless. And...annoying.

“Time and a place, Embry.” I shake my head. “Time and a place.”

_ “There you are,”  _ Paul growls in my head the moment I phase.  _ “Back from your vacation?” _

_ “An hour away doesn’t count as a vacation, last I checked.”  _ I growl back.  _ “We’re headed your way, Sam.”  _

_ “Stay focused,”  _ he returns,  _ “keep an eye out.” _

_ “Back to hunting again,”  _ Embry hums, uneasy. 

The pack is silent around him, all of us focused on hunting, but I send a silent nudge in his direction.  _ It’s gonna be okay.  _

Vampires don’t belong here--don’t belong on our land. But if I’m honest, the idea of killing anyone,  _ anything,  _ is kinda...scary. It feels-

_ Something’s different. _ It’s a soft thought, but Jared’s anxiety is clear.  _ I’m not- _

_ “Amiyah, how far away are you?” _

_ “Not far. We’re-”  _ I stop. Inhale. Around me, the sounds and smells fade away as I focus on the one I’m after- the sharp, burning scent of a vampire.  _ “Sam. We’ve been focusing on our land this whole time. The leech is bouncing between- no man’s land.”  _

_ “Isn’t that...kinda cheating?”  _ Embry chimes in. 

I snort.  _ “What part of bloodthirsty, evil vampire don’t you understand, Embry?”  _

_ “New plan- stay there, Amiyah. We’ll come to you.”  _

_ “All of you?”  _ I tense.  _ “Someone should stay back, watch the rez La Push.”  _

I don’t know when I started being okay with questioning Sam. I don’t know why he’s always okay with it. 

Sam...doesn’t answer. Is he waiting on me? Is he pissed? He doesn’t feel angry- I think I’d know, anger’s one of those things that floats pretty easily over our link. 

_ “Uh, Sam? What do you want us to do?” Paul. _

When Sam doesn’t answer,  _ again,  _ I go to speak-

_ “Sam, when were you going to tell me you asked Amiyah to be beta?”  _

_ “What?”  _ Jacob’s voice cuts hoarsely through the link.  _ “Sam-” _

_ “Now is not the time to be questioning positions.”  _ Sam snaps.  _ “Amiyah-” _

_ “Paul, Jacob, stay on the rez,”  _ I blurt out, not-so-secretly hoping the command is what Sam was waiting on me to say.  _ “Embry, as soon as Sam reaches us-” _

_ “Embry will stay with us,”  _ Sam cuts in. I stop. Heat flashes behind my eyes- embarrassment.  _ “Stay focused.”  _ he doesn’t mention a name, but that last thought  _ definitely  _ sounds like it’s aimed at me. 

_ “Jared-”  _ I begin.

_ “I’m not, Amiyah, I just need a minute,”  _ he snaps back, breathes in deep. _ “Later.”  _

Later- right. After vampire hunting is over. After a nap, preferably. 

_ If we’re out here all night hunting for this thing I swear to god, I’m gonna riot- _

Famous last words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of an experimental chapter as far as content goes. Mostly I just wanted to write these babies being sassy. Mission accomplished.


	8. 8. Leech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a hunt ends, a conversation is had, and Amiyah starts to realize what she's found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HOLY SHIT I'M ALIVE!
> 
> This chapter's impromptu hiatus was brought to you by some shit I'd rather not get into, but the important thing is that I've gotten over my emotional crap and I'm back now. I'm not sure how regular my updates will be, but I promise I'll try! 
> 
> To everyone that's read this so far and is coming back, thank you! I love all y'all dearly.

The thing about La Push is that it’s all  _ green _ . The air’s full of the same deep-pine and wet soil smell everywhere you turn. It’s so many things all at once--mountains and rocky cliffs, beaches with cold sand and even colder waves--but it’s massive most of all and that’s what makes it hard to track through.

And it’s not that everything smells the same--there are differences. There’s just this blanket, a familiar sort of scent that overwhelms everything, that makes it hard to really pinpoint what’s new and what’s isn’t. 

I’ve never noticed it before, but it makes tracking a real pain in the ass. 

Then again, running around with a bunch of snarky, sweaty,  _ frustrated  _ boys--

_ “I’ve got something,” _ Jared says, and all of us just stop simultaneously, the pack’s mind link going from  _ simmering with rage  _ to  _ optimistic and hopeful  _ in seconds. 

You would think that having a full-telepathic link with the pack would make things easier, but no--inexperienced as I may be, the slew of frustrations and bloodlust only make it more difficult to think clearly. 

And even then it’s split--new to the human side of me, familiar to the instincts of the wolf. Unsettling for that reason.

_ “Jared--” _

_ “It’s a long shot, but there’s that meadow--down between the Cullens’ territory and ours.” _

An image from Jared’s end flashes through my mind and with it, a scent buried deep in the ground, faint but absolutely reeking of leech. I growl. It  _ stinks. _

_ “Go,”  _ Sam says, the command simple, easy. Another wave of fierce enthusiasm breaks over the pack, and I wince, trying to fight my own excitement. 

I sprint through the forest, leaping over snarling roots and through thick bushes full of brambles. Sharp burs cling to my body, caught in the tangled fur on my sides. Something small and stinging stabs at my jaw. My front paws throb with every step. 

We’ve been out all night. A few hours ago, I watched the sun rise over the water. Now I’m standing in the middle of a small-ish clearing, panting, waiting on Embry to catch up so we can meet up with the others. 

It was a nice sunrise, at least. 

~

By the time we reach the clearing, the sun is beating down on us in a thin gold veil, hazing down through the trees, making everything misty and muggy. 

The scent is stronger now, enough to make my stomach churn, but I’m too tired and angry to care. It’s getting harder to separate human logic from instinct. Everything’s blurring together in a frenzied daze. 

Because here’s the thing. The leech is in the middle of the clearing, talking, moving his hands around as he dances around the tall grasses waving in the wind. But he’s not alone. 

_ Bella  _ is with him. 

At Sam’s side, I dip my head toward the ground and growl, struggling to shove aside the fury clenching tight in my chest. I’d hoped that the imprint wouldn’t get in the way--that when I finally saw Bella again, I’d be able to look  _ past  _ wolf-things and see her as more than an  _ interruption,  _ but as a  _ person.  _

And I  _ can,  _ but it’s  _ hard.  _

_ “We need to move.”  _ Jacob’s pawing at the ground behind me, impatient.  _ “We need to move, he’s going to  _ kill her _.”  _

I can feel it, then. The way he cares about her--deeply, genuinely, like she’s the center of his whole world. And I can feel the way he’s conflicted too--the way the imprint sits between us like a thorn in his side, distracting him, piercing his skin and pushing at the bone. It hurts him too, but through it all, he’s worried about Bella. 

And  _ shit,  _ how am I supposed to argue with that?

_ “Wait.”  _ Sam’s voice is low, trembling.  _ “Jacob, wait.”  _

Jacob’s shaking behind me, his breathing ragged, furious as he grinds his claws into the dirt. But Sam’s words hold an alpha’s command and it quivers in the wind, rooting him to the spot. 

None of us move. 

And then, from between the branches, I watch as the vampire lifts his arm. 

All hell breaks loose.

Because Sam’s  _ “GO!”  _ is less of a spoken word than a  _ feeling,  _ something that ties us together and unites us in a single breath. The pack-mind surges with fury and the desire to protect, spurred onward by Jacob’s thoughts and emotions. When we run, we’re spread out in a line, all of us snarling, our thoughts dialing down to a low roar. 

The vampire sees us, his shock turning to fear in a scent I can smell heavy in the air. For a single instant, he stares us down one by one. 

And then he  _ moves.  _

And he’s  _ fast.  _

He sprints like a demon through the trees, his form blurring as he glides into the treeline, dodging overhanging branches and zigzagging between thick, rounded roots. 

We lose him; Jared and Embry fan away from us on both sides, leading Paul and Jacob with them. Sam and I tear through the underbrush, still silent, both of us moving in tandem as we run after the leech.

He may be faster than us, but this forest is our  _ home.  _

Things end quickly after that, and it isn’t pretty. 

After the vampire dies, the forest is full of the sound of our howling. 

We head back home in an excited frenzy. Everyone else heads to Emily’s. 

I get dressed, then head home. 

My head’s spinning. 

_ Jacob.  _

The pack mind is the worst part about being a wolf because you can see  _ everything.  _ Nothing is safe. We can see every secret and every thought, feel every emotion as if it were our own--sometimes it goes that far, becomes our own feeling. And while the one thing I don’t want-- _ still  _ don’t want--is to feel bad for Jacob--Jacob, who’d rejected the imprint then  _ attacked me,  _ who’d left me a  _ scar  _ that he  _ refused  _ to acknowledge he  _ shared-- _ has feelings for Bella the Vampire Girl, and who am I to deny that? Who am I to deny that when...I’m not really a fan of the imprint myself?

I freeze on the front porch steps, my stomach churning. The memory of the vampire’s body--cracking, his skin an ice-white as he shatters and crumbles into ash--is too fresh in my mind, and the wolf-instinct is quieter now. My very human stomach is in revolt. 

_ I killed someone tonight.  _

Not just me, but the boys--my packmates, my  _ brothers.  _ And they’d been  _ excited about it.  _ Is that what comes next? Letting the bloodlust in, letting the passion consume you until you’re excited to take a life, even if it is that of a monster?

_ What am I becoming? _

_ Am I a monster too? _

_ Shit.  _ I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for any of this. I’m tired and filthy and sore and there are still burs in my hair as I come my hands through the strands of stick-straight brown. 

I don’t know what to do. 

I open the door and shut it, lean against it and blink blearily at the empty living room, numb. 

“Amiyah?” 

“Shit!” I lurch forward, trip over my own feet as I stumble into the hallway. “Jared? What the hell? How’d you get in?” 

He snorts. “You left the window open, dumbass.” 

_ “Jerk.  _ You scared the crap out of me!”

“Good, you deserved it.” He steps into the hallway, his lips twisted into something that’s not quite a frown, but not quite a smile either. “‘Amiyah, when were you gonna tell me--”

“About Sam?” 

“--that Sam asked you to replace me?” 

“I...didn’t know he hadn’t asked you first, Jared.” 

“I  _ liked  _ being the beta,” he mumbles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I mean, I never did anything, but…” 

I sigh. “Blame Jacob.” 

“Huh?” 

“Sam asked him first, since he’s the rightful alpha, but he said no. And here I am.” 

“But why you?” 

What a question. “‘Cause I’m Jacob’s imprint, and Sam said one of us should know how to lead.” 

Silence. I can practically see Jared mulling it over. 

“For what it’s worth, you’d be a good alpha,” he finally says, and I stare at him, wide-eyed. “Not now, obviously! Just. In the future, if you ever had to.”

“Thanks, Jared.”

“‘Course.” He looks awkwardly at the floor. “Hey, Amiyah, can I--”

“Stay as long as you want. I’m gonna shower. Don’t break anything, ‘kay?” 

“‘kay.” 

I shuffle past him and duck into my room, letting out a long sigh as I gingerly pick through my clean clothes to find something worth sleeping in. Knowing that Jared isn’t upset means more than I’d like to admit. 

...I’ll sleep better tonight, probably. Knowing we’re still friends. Knowing that even with Jacob being a pain in my ass, I’ll have Jared by my side. And Embry. And Sam. And--

_ Friends.  _ Real friends. 

Brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of the shit I mentioned above, I'll be turning comments off for this fic, but know that I love all of you and I'm extremely grateful for all the kudos/hits this fic has received!
> 
> Happy reading! Leave a kudo if ya haven't already. <3


End file.
